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Tag Archives: Time-out

No. 94: Moving to a New Space

April 27, 2012 12:34 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete…I will practice mindfully distracting myself from stressful or distressing thoughts and feelings by moving to a different location and observing and describing my new location to myself. I might move to a different room, go outside or walk to a local park or anywhere that is different. I give myself permission to return to my distressing thoughts later, when I am feeling calmer, if I still want or need to. I will spend at least five minutes looking around me. Instead of focusing on my inner world, I will focus on my outside world. I will actively look around my new space and centre my thoughts on what is around me and where I am, rather than what I feel or think about myself, other people or my life. As my mind tries to come back to those things, I will gently return my thoughts to the space I am now in without judgement. I feel whatever I feel, right now I am here. If this kind of thing is unfamiliar to me, I will start by practicing this when I am not stressed or distressed. Once this starts to feel like a comfortable thing to do, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as something to try when I am needing to improve the moment.
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No. 89: Draw an Object

March 23, 2012 8:09 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete… I will practice drawing objects around me as a way of refocusing my attention away from unhelpful thoughts and giving myself a break. If I notice myself getting stressed or distressed I will take a couple of moments to sketch an object in my immediate surroundings. It could be a pen on my desk or a plant on the windowsill or anything at all. I can draw it any way I want and it doesn’ t matter whether my drawing even looks like the object at all. The point is to focus my attention on something else for a while. I could also just spend some time each day drawing as a way to get some down-time. In preparation I’ ll make sure I have a notebook and a pencil on hand. Once I am familiar with drawing objects in my surroundings as a way of capturing my attention, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for mindfully distracting myself from distress.
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No. 88: Delaying My Response

March 16, 2012 11:19 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete…when I find I have something to say to someone, rather than rushing to express myself straight away, I will remind myself that I might feel differently later. I will resolve to turn my attentions to something else and see how I feel about it later on or the next day. I will then move onto completing my tasks for the day. When I return to think about the situation and assess how I feel, I will start off by thinking about what might have been happening for the other person at the time and how that might have influenced their behaviour. I will think about whether the way I thought about it at the time, still seems accurate or whether there might be another way of looking at things. I will think about whether I need to do or say anything now or at another time and what I could do or say, taking their perspective into account as well my own. Once I have become comfortable delaying everyday responses, I will add this strategy to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of dealing with distressing moments.
Posted in: Expression & Support, Mindful Distraction, Self-Soothing ⋅ Tagged: , , , , ,

No. 86: Doing What I Can Do

March 3, 2012 11:04 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete… When I encounter a problem, I will turn my attention towards something I can accomplish to improve the moment. To begin with, I will make a list of all of the big and small things I have been wanting to get done around the house and/or my workplace. I will break all of the big items on my list down into smaller parts so that in the end my list is a list of easy to achieve tasks. When I find myself worrying about something I cannot change or predict, I will take out my list and begin working on one of the tasks I can do something about. As I am doing the task I will focus my awareness on what I am doing in the current moment by noticing when my mind wanders onto the distressing thoughts and observing and describing my current surroundings and actions to myself to centre myself on the task at hand. This week, I will respond to problems by doing something else that is positive for my life. Once I have gotten used to focusing on what I can do during times of low stress, I will add this to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for distraction and engagement during times of distress and unwanted emotion.
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No. 85: Looking for Encouragement

February 24, 2012 8:46 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete…I will help myself get through my problems by letting someone know what I am feeling and seeking encouragement. I will use whatever means is appropriate to me in the moment, whether I need to take a private moment to make a phone call to someone I trust or talk to someone I am with. For example, if I am worried about something that is happening in a meeting or social situation, I might need to excuse myself to give a friend a call or ask to talk to someone I trust there privately or maybe I will be comfortable talking to whoever happens to be there. I’ ll let them know the situation I am in, what I am worried about/how I am affected and what I need encouragement with. And then I will let them encourage me. If it is a personal matter and I am talking to someone who finds giving encouragement difficult or uncomfortable, I might try something like asking them to help me remember what strengths I have to help me get through. It might sound cheesy when it’ s put in those terms, but I can say it any way I want. This week, I actively look for encouragement when I need it. Sometimes it is hard to believe in ourselves when the going gets tough – at these times, we can look to the people around us for reminders. Then, later, I can refer to the memories of their encouragement to get me through when they are not around. It is okay to feel what I feel and to look for support when I need it. This week, I will not make myself stand alone. If I am out of practice with seeking encouragement and support, I will start out by seeking encouragement for small things that I find easy to talk about, during times of low stress. This will allow me to get used to it, before I am in a bad way and find it hard to do. Once I can seek out other people without a large amount of anxiety, I will add this to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of coping during times of distress.
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No. 80: Observing Myself as Part of Nature

January 19, 2012 8:43 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete…I will practice mindful distraction by going outside and observing myself as part of nature. This week, the first thing I will do once I have woken up in the morning and gotten dressed, is to take a moment to go outside where I can see at least some aspect of the natural world. For the next few minutes I will let whatever concerns I might have for the coming day fade into the distance where I can catch them up later if I still need to. I will focus my awareness on the way the clouds and air move, the way the plant-life grows, the way water flows or settles – everything falling into its shape. As I make myself aware of these elements of nature, I will notice myself standing or sitting there, as part of this environment. Here I am, connected to the world. Doing this regularly, when I am not distressed, will help me make strong associations with the strategy so it is easier to do it when I need it. It’ s also just a pretty nice way to start the day. In preparation for when I need to distract myself from unnecessary distress, once a day, I will…\r

“Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence….You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.” [From The Desiderata, Max Ehrmann, 1927]

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Once I am comfortable doing this task as part of a regular day, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for mindfully distracting myself from distressing emotions and unwanted thoughts.

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No. 78: The Power of a Pause

January 5, 2012 2:02 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week to attain, maintain or regain my sense of well-being… Coping Kete…I will practice pausing as a first response to intense emotion. While this may not seem like it will change much, it is a vital step in my journey to being able to change the way I respond to my feelings. Each time I notice a shift in my emotion, I will pause myself by using self-talk to describe to myself what I am feeling in this moment. For example, when I notice I am feeling stressed out, I will pause and say to myself “I am feeling stressed out right now. It’ s time to pause.” I will take a couple of deep breaths and then carry on as I see fit. This week I am creating moments for myself between feeling and reacting. I can react however I wish, this week the focus is on creating the pause and giving myself encouragement to keep doing so. Each time I pause myself, I will congratulate myself for being able to take the pause. Even if all I do is say ‘ pause time’ in my head. It is not easy to pause oneself in the course of such an automatic reaction as an emotional response and it is important to acknowledge the achievement each time. This way I will reinforce the practice of pausing before responding to the way I feel and turn it into a habit. Later, I will be able to follow this strategy with other techniques that allow me to change the way I am feeling after the pause. This week though, I am going to practice the pause, which is like a platform for launching other strategies from. If this is difficult to begin with, I will practice on mild emotional experiences or I will practice pausing during times when I am not particularly feeling anything at all. Taking a week or so to do this can help us build up. Once I am comfortable with pausing and describing the situation and how I feel about it to myself, I will add this to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for engaging with the current moment to deal with distress.
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No. 61: Changing the Scene

September 8, 2011 11:42 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… ""I will practice getting a change of scene to shift my mood, even just for a moment. Sometimes we need to get out of where we are to be able to shift our thinking and feeling. This week, when I notice slight drops in my mood or energy level, I will get a change of scene by moving my attention to a different aspect of my current environment or by physically moving myself somewhere new. It could be as simple as going for a walk down a nearby street I’ ve never walked down. Or spending a moment looking closely at a plant I’ ve never studied closely. Giving myself a range of different experiences throughout the week will help me to connect with more positive emotion. I will search out opportunities to give myself these out-of-the-moment experiences, taking the time I need to make considered responses where I am able to find and savour insights rather than act only out of feeling. I will observe how I am affected by these changes of scene. Once I am comfortable changing the scene, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of shifting my mood in times of stress and distress.
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No. 54: Paint

July 21, 2011 5:00 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping KeteI will practice painting something on a piece of paper, wood, cloth or canvas to shift the moment. It doesn’ t matter what I paint, I will focus my attention on the sound of the brush on the surface and allow myself to get lost in the brush-strokes. I could simply colour in the surface, paint how I feel or try to copy something that is around me. Painting is great because I can start it and then come back to it later. When things get stressful or distressing, I can return to the artwork and add to it or I can start a new one if I am feeling completely different. This will give me some brief valuable ‘ me’ time in my day where I can distract myself from what’ s going in my day or a moment. This gives my unconscious mind a bit of a rest and sets me up for a moment of safety. I could get a few tubes of acrylic paint for a few dollars each from my local stationary shop. Some emporium style shops have a great range of really cheap paints, brushes, papers and canvases – but really, I can paint on anything. If I keep in mind that I can do a lot with just one colour and I’ ll be able to get started almost straight away. Once I am used to taking a few moments to paint in my everyday life, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of shifting or expressing moments of stress and distress.\r

This week’ s strategy comes from a participant at today’ s RCNet Monthly Forum. We’ ve fleshed it out a bit.

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No. 48: Count On Mindful Distraction

June 9, 2011 11:31 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… "" I will use mindful distraction to allow emotions to pass. I will practice turning my attention outside of myself by counting the number of colours around me, then the number of shapes around me and then the number of textures around me. As I go, I will tune into the sensations I experience as I notice different shapes, colours and textures. This is a simple exercise, it may not seem like it could do much. But this is a powerful way of letting go of current distress so that something else can flow in. Once I am used to shifting my attention to the basics of my surroundings, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for pulling myself out of intense moments when I need to reduce the intensity.
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