Tag Archives: Self-care

No. 123: Satisfy My Basic Needs

December 20, 2012 4:04 pm ⋅ admin

This week, to attain, maintain or regain your sense of wellbeing...

...practice satisfying your basic needs. This means making sure you are getting enough sleep, eating regular meals, staying hydrated, and taking care of your physical health.

Pay special attention to what your body needs and respond to those needs with care and compassion.Regularly tune into your body and notice if you are hungry, if you are thirsty, if your muscles are tight and need to move, if you are tired. If these things are hard for you, try to set a reminder on your phone and do a quick body scan each time it goes off. Keeping a water bottle close by is a helpful reminder to drink water. Keeping nutritious snacks and meals available is a good reminder to eat well.Setting a wind-down time before bed is a great way to support your sleep.  

By satisfying your basic needs, you will be able to build your resilience to stress and distress and create a foundation for better mental health.

Once you are comfortable with this practice, add Satisfy My Basic Needs to your Personal Coping Kete for times of stress and distress. Before reacting to upsetting situations, thoughts, and feelings, you'll be able to do a quick body scan and take care of your body first. Things are a lot easier to deal with when we are well-fuelled.

Posted in: Engagement ⋅ Tagged: physical needs, self-care

No. 118: Declare a Peace Treaty with the Moment

November 3, 2012 2:41 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅ admin

This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing … Coping Kete

… I will practice mindful distraction and self-soothing by regularly pausing and declaring a peace treaty with the current moment. When I declare a peace treaty with a moment, that means I am committing to spend a moment in peace before moving on to my next experience of the day. I will surrender whatever is on my mind for a moment and peacefully engage my attention in my surroundings. This week, when I am in between tasks, I will practice saying to myself either silently or out loud “I declare a peace treaty with this moment.” I will then take a minute or more to ground myself peacefully in the current moment before I move on to the next task before me. Declaring a peace treaty with a moment means that for this moment I will interact with myself and my surroundings in a kind, calm way. I will take 10 slow, deep breaths while I stop and mindfully observe my current surroundings. As I notice thoughts about the past or the future surfacing, I will remind myself of my peace treaty with this moment and turn my attention back to my peaceful breathing and the space around me in this current moment. In accordance with my peace treaty, if I notice critical or judgemental thoughts, I will say something kind or accepting to myself to soothe them. I will then bring my attention back to my breathing and observing my current surroundings. In this way, I will practice giving myself times of relaxation and release from worrying or critical self-talk. By practicing breathing at the same time, I will be able to return to the next task of the day with a clearer mind and calmer mood. Each time I find myself in between tasks, I will stop and practice declaring a peace treaty with the moment again. Throughout the week I will experiment with different ways of doing it until I find what works well for me. I will keep a record of the things that make it tricky and how to respond to them differently next time, so I can start to build a good list of what a Peace Treaty with the Moment looks like and involves for me. Once I have become familiar with the practice of declaring a peace treaty with a moment and taking some time to be present and kind to myself in between ordinary, daily tasks, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete for times when I find myself struggling against stress and distress. I will be able to declare a peace treaty with the difficult moment, disengage from feelings of conflict and take some time out to send myself some mindful messages of calm and compassion before I respond. _ _ _ _ Acknowledgement: This mindfulness strategy was inspired by Thich Naht Hanh’ s Peace Treaty method for communication during conflict. Thich Naht Hanh is known for creating the Engaged Buddhism movement and popularising mindfulness in the Western world.

Posted in: Mindful Distraction, Self-Soothing ⋅ Tagged: acceptance, breathing exercises, Coping, self-care, Self-Talk, Stress Management

No. 116: A Moment for Self-Care

October 19, 2012 4:13 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅ admin

This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete

… I will practice using small moments of self-care to create positive experiences in my day. Self-care is the act of caring for myself by meeting my basic needs for food and water, movement, fresh air, sunlight, stillness, and physical care. I will spend some time every morning and evening focused on a self-care activity from one of these categories. I will start out by making a list of activities I like for each kind of self-care first and then use my diary to plan which activities I will do each morning and night. I might even add to these categories if I want to, I could add ‘ Connection’ or ‘ Noise’ or any other kind of activity that I feel fits with my idea of what my ‘ basic needs’ are.

For example:

Food and water

Sit down and eat breakfast
Take time to prepare lunch
Make something really healthy for dinner
Eat a favourite food
Stop to drink a glass of water

Movement

Dance to music in my room
Go to a ‘No Lights No Lycra’ event
Do some yoga stretches
Take mini-breaks to stroll round the room

Fresh air

Pause and do some belly-breathing
Stand outside and breathe deep for a moment
Pop my head out an open window

Sunlight

Read a book in the sun
Do some gardening
Eat lunch outside

Stillness

Go to bed early to read a book
Light some candles and listen to chill-out music
Paint something on that blank canvas I have sitting around

Physical care

Make one of the spaces in my house nice to be in
Cleanse and moisturise my face
Wash and brush my hair
Wear something that feels good to be in

As I do each activity I will focus all my attention on the task at hand, being aware as I go that I am making a simple gesture of caring to myself. As I move through the week, I will be mindful of how I am affected by my moments of self-care so I can tell which activities work to shift my mood and whether I want to adjust them at all. Once I am comfortable purposefully doing self-care activities on a regular basis and have found some that boost my mood, I will add them to my Personal Coping Kete and use ‘ A Moment of Self-Care’ as a way of nurturing and valuing myself during times of stress and distress.

Posted in: Engagement, Mindful Distraction, Self-Soothing ⋅ Tagged: breathing exercises, coping skills, emotional regulation, mindfulness practice, physical needs, positive thinking, self-care, Stress Management, time-out

No. 115: Noticing My Small Contributions to Others

October 13, 2012 7:54 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅ admin

This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete

… I will actively recall times I have been kind, giving or friendly towards other people and practice noticing the good bits about myself. Each morning or the night before I will jot down a few times I can remember myself being good to others, they could be recent, historical or a mix of both. Then I will practice reminding myself of these small contributions to others throughout the day. As I move through the day during the week, I will take moments to pause and mentally run through my list of past examples as a reminder of my good intentions and value to those around me. This week, I will practice noticing the positive effects I have on others and in so doing, I will practice building my sense of self-worth and valuing even my smallest contributions. If I notice my mind wandering onto times when I have not had a positive effect on others, I will notice those thoughts and compassionately bring my mind back to the exercise of recalling interactions in which I have been kind, caring, friendly, supportive or helpful to another person. I am more than my mistakes. Once I am familiar with the task of remembering and noticing my past and current positive contributions on a daily basis, I will add this to my Personal Coping Kete as a self-soothing strategy for times of distress when I notice I am devaluing myself and my place in my community.

Posted in: Self-Soothing ⋅ Tagged: creative expression, relaxation techniques, self-care, Stress Management

No. 114: List Poems

September 28, 2012 10:55 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅ admin

This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete

…I will spend 10 – 15 minutes every day writing a list poem about the things I have seen, done and felt that day. Each evening, I will sit down with a notebook and write a list of five things I saw that day, five things I did that day and five things I felt or thought. I will try to make each item on each list different. Then I will rearrange or join the items on my lists into a poem. I might add words and images or change things in my lists as well. In this way I will practice regularly reflecting on my daily experience and finding a creative way to express it. While I am thinking of the words to use and working on rearranging the lines, I might get a bit of time out from worrying about things. If I get distracted by concerns of the day I will work them into the list and return my focus to the creative task at hand. By working to include a number of different experiences in the list I will practice having an expansive awareness of my day without letting one experience override everything I have been aware of. If I felt like it, I could share my poems with someone else as a way to connect with support and encouragement, but they are really something that I will do just for myself. Once I am comfortable making list poems about a typical day, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for distracting myself from the moment and creatively expressing myself in times of stress and distress.Example list poem.

28/09/2012

The aluminium sky

the neighbour’ s stray cat

my own reflection in the window

outside the path littered with petals

the wind-blown tree.

I have typed so many messages

dressed myself to match

bought new socks and worn them

cooked hot food and eaten it

peeled an orange and given you half.

My small victories.

I was caring about everything

sadness for all the news

I thought I saw you flinch when I said that

worrying over the day’ s mathematics

joy in the act of nurturing something.

– M. Barr

Posted in: Engagement, Expression & Support ⋅ Tagged: acceptance, Mindfulness, private expression, self-care, Stress Management, Writing Exercises

No. 113: Time to Think

September 21, 2012 10:38 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅ admin

This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete

…I will give myself a little while to think each day. I will plan a 15 minute slot of time into each of my days, to allow myself time to simply think. Life can get so busy and the tasks of daily living can become so much the focus that we don’ t get time to actively make sense of what we go through each day, whether it is enjoyable or distressing or a mixture of both. First, I will sit down with my schedule and plan in each of my 15-minute spots – they could be at the same, regular time each day or just whenever I can fit them in. Then for the rest of the week, no matter how I feel, I will sit down at my scheduled time to think each day. I will consider this my own private “defrag” time – a moment to organise my mental files of the day and figure them out. I might think things through better when I have a pen and paper to jot things down or I might just think to myself silently. For 15 minutes I will cast my mind over my day and my responses and let the things I need to sort out, rise to the surface. I will think about resolving problems that have arisen, talking to a supporter about things I have found upsetting, giving myself comfort for the things that have been hard and congratulating myself for the things I have survived and done well with. In this way, each day, I will spend a moment in which my automatic thoughts and feelings are able to rise to the surface where I can be aware of them and do something to about them if I wish. This week, I will make sure life slows down for 15-minutes a day to allow me to process my experiences and make sense of where I am at. This could help prevent me from getting overwhelmed by things, especially when life gets really busy. Once I am comfortable taking 15 minutes to think on a regular basis, I will add ‘ Time to Think’ to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for coping with stress and distress. When I find my thoughts are getting repeatedly stuck on something negative or find myself constantly trying ‘ not to think about it’ , I will use this strategy to insert a moment in each day when I give myself permission to think about what my daily life is throwing at me lately and how I might shift the unwanted elements of my experience. When I find myself thinking unwanted thoughts during my day, I will mindfully notice the thoughts and remind myself to think about them later when I get my ‘ time to think.’ I will then be able to turn my attention to something in my present moment, with the knowledge that I will think about it later.

Posted in: Engagement ⋅ Tagged: Coping, mindfulness practice, physical activity, positive thinking, private expression, self-care, Stress Management, time-out

No. 107: Think of the Safer Alternatives

July 28, 2012 11:29 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅ admin

This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete

…I will practice harm minimisation as a way of responding to distress. As I move through my week, when I notice small changes in my mood or any self-destructive urges, I will practice thinking of the safest way of responding to the way I feel. Where I might sometimes have the urge to do something to hurt myself to express the way I feel, this week, I will practice thinking about the less harmful alternatives. When I notice my thinking or feelings heading in a self-destructive direction, I will ask myself “what would be the safest way of responding to this?” For example, if I notice myself thinking about cutting myself to relieve my distress, I will think about some less harmful things that might give me the same release. In this way, I will nurture my wellbeing and treat myself with a bit more respect and kindness. Using intense, but safe sensations is often really helpful. Some people find that holding a piece of ice or running a piece of sharp ice over their skin gives them an intense almost painful sensation that can replace the need to cut. Other people find snapping a rubber band on their wrist does the same thing. Yet other people find that running a red felt-tip pen over their arm gives them an intense visual picture that replaces the need to self-harm. Some people find them all helpful at different times. This week I will practice imagining doing these kinds of things rather than thinking about hurting myself. This week, I will practice thinking about doing these kinds of things whenever I notice myself thinking about hurting myself. Once I have gotten used to thinking about these safer alternative ways of reacting to my distress, I will add ‘ Think of a Safer Alternative’ and the strategies I thought of to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of responding when I feel the urge to hurt myself.

Posted in: Mindful Distraction, Self-Soothing ⋅ Tagged: Coping, self-care, Stress Management

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Tag Archives: Self-care

No. 123: Satisfy My Basic Needs

No. 118: Declare a Peace Treaty with the Moment

No. 116: A Moment for Self-Care

No. 115: Noticing My Small Contributions to Others

No. 114: List Poems

No. 113: Time to Think

No. 107: Think of the Safer Alternatives

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