Engage Aotearoa

Tag Archives: Positive Thinking

No. 110: A Sense A Day

August 18, 2012 8:34 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete… I will use mindfulness of my senses to practice shifting my thoughts and improving the moment. This week, I will regularly tune my attention into one of my senses each day and deliberately plan activities that will allow me to indulge it a little. I will plan in advance which sense I will do each day, and then throughout that day I will make myself aware of that sense. The next day I will practice being aware of a different one of my five senses. For example, on Monday I might pay particular attention to what I taste whenever I eat or drink, on Tuesday I might stop what I am doing for a moment throughout my day and pay attention to the different things I hear, on Wednesday I might practice being aware of the sensations I have when I touch things, on Thursday I might practice taking time to pay attention to the sights around me, on Friday I might practice taking time out to notice the smells around me. In this way, I will practice mindfully shifting my attention onto something different. Once I am comfortable practicing mindfully shifting my attention like this, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of distracting myself from unhelpful thoughts when I am distressed or stressed.
Posted in: Mindful Distraction ⋅ Tagged: , , , , ,

No. 109: Create Something Simple to Have Faith in

August 11, 2012 6:59 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, in order to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete… I will practice coping with uncertainty by creating a simple vision for the future that I can have faith in achieving and then reminding myself of it on a regular basis. First of all, I will think of the simple things I would like to see in my future. I will make sure I think of positive and realistic things, that I could have faith in achieving or maintaining if I put my mind to it. I could list things like being close to my family, a safe place to live, regular healthy meals or a daily routine I enjoy. Second, I will visualise or imagine what a day would look and feel like in that future. I will try my best to bring a realistic and detailed picture of it into my mind, from waking up in the morning to going to bed at night. Finally, I will write down all of the things I imagined I did and experienced as part of that day. As I move through my week, I will regularly bring my mind back to that simple vision of my future and remind myself that no matter where I am now, my vision of the future is where I will one day be. If I find this hard, I might set an alarm on my phone to remind me to spend a moment visualising it. Whenever I can, I will mindfully do what I imagined I would do in the course of a day in my vision of the future. In this way, I really can have faith that I will gradually get there and I will give myself small bits of evidence that helps me have hope every day. When I am familiar with creating a simple vision and visualising it throughout the day, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for self-soothing and engagement in times of stress, distress or mental unwellness. When I am finding it hard to have hope, I will focus my attention on creating something I can have hope in. By spending time visualising a positive picture of my future and reminding myself of the small things I can do to achieve it, I can actively balance any worried thoughts I might be having about how things are going to turn out and leave room for the possibility that everything will turn out okay in the end.
Posted in: Engagement, Mindful Distraction, Self-Soothing ⋅ Tagged: , , , , , ,

No. 104: Connecting with Interests & Skills

July 6, 2012 3:59 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping KeteI will practice connecting with my interests and developing my skills by joining some kind of community course. Most community centres offer cheap community classes on topics ranging from cooking and clothing alterations to ballroom dancing, yoga and martial arts. This week I will spend time exploring my options and finding a first class to try. It could take a few tries before I find a class that suits me. I will use my local telephone directory, The Community Resources Directory, web searches and local noticeboards to get a picture of what is available in my community. I might also talk to the people around me about what is out there and whether they recommend anything. As I move through my day I will remember that I am exploring my interests and am well on my way along the path towards a more enjoyable life. Any points of dissatisfaction are simply the areas that are still works in progress. It might be hard for me to get myself along so I might ask a friend, family member or other supporter if they want to come with me. That might also be a nice way to strengthen a relationship I have been wanting to build. Once I have found a hobby-course that I enjoy and I have become familiar with the activity I have been learning, I will add the activity to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of engaging with my skills and interests to shift my mood when I am distressed. * * * Today’ s post marks two full years of The Coping Kete in its online form. The Coping Kete book is coming soon.
Posted in: Engagement ⋅ Tagged: , , , , , , ,

No 87: Being My Own Loving Parent

March 8, 2012 10:03 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete…I will practicing being my own unconditionally loving parent. When I find myself falling into self-critic mode, I will say comforting things to myself. I will encourage myself on. I will have compassion for what I am going through. I will praise my strengths and remember my victories. I will attend to my self-care needs and make sure I am alright. I might imagine my ideal kind of loving parent in advance so that I am prepared with the kinds of things I might say to myself if I get distressed. This week, I take care of myself the way I want to be taken care of by others. Once I am comfortable saying caring and encouraging things to myself in everyday moments, I will add this strategy to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of soothing distress. When I encounter stress or distress I will think about how I would want my ideal loving parent to respond to me and I will respond to myself that way.
Posted in: Self-Soothing ⋅ Tagged: , , , , , ,

No. 82: Valuing My Values

February 2, 2012 11:18 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellness… Coping Kete…I will practice using self-talk to remind myself of the things I value and care about. In this way I will give myself regular reassurance that despite how things might sometimes turn out, I ultimately have positive intentions. I can relax and let my values guide me. To prepare myself to self-soothe like this when I am distressed by negative thoughts about myself, I will first spend some time, maybe with a pen and paper, to think about what my values are. I will ask myself, “what is it that I think is most important in life?” I will then practice regularly reminding myself “I am the kind of person who values…xyz… so no matter what happens out there, I am all right in here.” If I find that my distress stems from my doing things that don’ t sit well with what I value, then I will be able to move on to a more problem-solving based strategy to discover what I could change or how I could respond. This week, I will practice seeing the evidence of my self-worth in the values that I hold, the things I believe in and strive for. Once I am comfortable being aware of my values and trusting them to guide me, I will add this strategy to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of soothing feelings of distress.
Posted in: Self-Soothing ⋅ Tagged: , , , ,

No. 61: Changing the Scene

September 8, 2011 11:42 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… ""I will practice getting a change of scene to shift my mood, even just for a moment. Sometimes we need to get out of where we are to be able to shift our thinking and feeling. This week, when I notice slight drops in my mood or energy level, I will get a change of scene by moving my attention to a different aspect of my current environment or by physically moving myself somewhere new. It could be as simple as going for a walk down a nearby street I’ ve never walked down. Or spending a moment looking closely at a plant I’ ve never studied closely. Giving myself a range of different experiences throughout the week will help me to connect with more positive emotion. I will search out opportunities to give myself these out-of-the-moment experiences, taking the time I need to make considered responses where I am able to find and savour insights rather than act only out of feeling. I will observe how I am affected by these changes of scene. Once I am comfortable changing the scene, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of shifting my mood in times of stress and distress.
Posted in: Mindful Distraction ⋅ Tagged: , , , ,

No. 60: The Good Mood Diet

September 1, 2011 12:21 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅

This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing…

Coping KeteI am going to practice The Good Mood Diet. It’ s not a food diet, though food will be part of it. The good mood diet is about creating opportunities for positive moods. This will strengthen my resilience to stress and distress, because it will become easier to counter dark thoughts when I have been experiencing some positive things.

The Good Mood Diet is about finding small activities that can be fitted into everyday life on a regular basis. It’ s not about trying to only experience good moods, but about making sure that good moods are part of my experience.

I will start by making my own Good Mood Diet plan, which involves first making a series of lists:

    • FUN: A list of things I have enjoyed doing alone or with others
    • TIME-OUT: A list of things that I have found relaxing or peaceful or freeing – we all need time to do just as we please, to chill.
    • NOURISHMENT: A list of things that I found nurturing for my body
    • ACHIEVEMENT: A list of small everyday things that have given me a sense of accomplishment or strength utilisation.

Once I have built my four lists, I will take out my diary or day-planner and I will plan in one item from each list for every day of my week. That means that every day, among my usual activities, I will do one thing I find fun, one thing that gives me time out from expectations, one thing that strengthens my body and one thing that shows me my capabilities and skills.

No matter what is happening in my life, I value myself enough to gift myself the opportunity to experience the good bits.

To help myself along I will make sure that the items on my lists are specific and small enough to be achievable. I will keep my schedule in mind and ensure that the ideas I generate will fit with that. For example, planning full-day activities when I don’ t have full-days available will set myself up to be unsuccessful. It would be more useful to find little elements of the larger activity that I could implement given my particular context and situation.

If I find it difficult to think of items to try out, I will use the comments feature below to seek help or talk to some friends about what things they might try. Sometimes bad days and distressing moments come about because we become disconnected from these activities. But when we are stressed and distressed, it is extra hard to do these things. As much as possible, I will try to practice them in advance when I am feeling okay or during higher energy times of the day.

Once I have gotten comfortable putting a good mood diet in place, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as something to return to in times of stress and distress.

Posted in: Engagement ⋅ Tagged: , , , , , ,

No. 58: Coming Back to Centre

August 18, 2011 8:26 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping KeteI will be mindful of the calm, light centre I take within me everywhere I go. No matter what life layers on top of me, that centre is unchangeable. I will be aware that though my moods and thoughts and situation change, I can always return to this light place within. It is there, even when I can’ t see or feel it. Even if I am feeling really low or dark, the light place within me remains. I can touch it whenever I want to. When I notice slight shifts in my mood and frame of mind, I will remind myself that I carry this place within me. In my mind’ s eye I will visualise this calm centre inside me and I will see myself moving towards it, while I practice the standard breathing exercise. In this way, I will practice reminding myself of my own intrinsic, unchangeable worth and capacity to experience something different in a range of different situations. Once I am comfortable noticing slight shifts in my mood and coming back to centre, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of self-soothing in the midst of distressing situations.
Posted in: Self-Soothing ⋅ Tagged: , , , ,

No. 51: Building a Body that is Prepared to Cope

June 30, 2011 5:10 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… I will build my resilience to stress and distress by making sure that I am meeting my physical needs. I will regularly go through the following mental check-list of physical needs I may need to address in the moment. There are a range of physical states that can trigger or exacerbate negative emotions and stress responses. The Mental Check-List\r

    \r

  1. Am I thirsty right now? If yes, I will go and sip a glass of water.

    2. \r

  2. Am I hungry right now? If yes, I will go and eat something.

    3. \r

  3. Am I tired right now? If yes, I will get some rest or do something physical to energise myself.

    4. \r

  4. Are my muscles tense or aching right now? If yes, I will move around or do some stretches.

    5. \r

\r If I am unable to take steps to address an area of need, I will have compassion and understanding for the way that this need will be affecting my emotions, until I am able to take care of it. I will let the people around me know that I am being affected by it so they can understand why I might be a bit short-fused or on edge. Once my physical needs are addressed, I will be ready to deal with the challenges of the situation and engage in any other self-soothing or help-seeking as needed. When I am comfortable with running through the mental check-list and meeting my physical needs, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for lifting my mood in times of stress and distress.

Posted in: Engagement, Self-Soothing ⋅ Tagged: , , ,

No. 50: Holding Up An Imaginary Mirror

June 23, 2011 4:58 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete I will practice valuing myself. In a quiet moment each morning, I will sit down and hold up an imaginary hand-mirror in front of my face. I will visualise my own face looking back at me. Allowing myself to become aware of how I usually talk to myself when I look in the mirror, I will smile at the picture of myself that I have imagined before me. I will tell this imaginary reflection of myself “I love and value you.” I will carry this sentiment with me throughout my day. Each time I feel stressed, pressed or distressed, I will return to this visualisation in my mind, reminding myself that ‘I love and value myself’ so I can act accordingly. No matter what happens, it will be okay in the end, because I will love and value myself. Whenever I look in an actual mirror, I will say the words directly to myself. Or some other version of the same sentiment: I am enough. Once I am familiar with sending myself messages of self-worth, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of talking myself through moments when I am stressed or distressed.
Posted in: Self-Soothing ⋅ Tagged: , ,