Engage Aotearoa

Tag Archives: Physical Activity

No. 80: Observing Myself as Part of Nature

January 19, 2012 8:43 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete…I will practice mindful distraction by going outside and observing myself as part of nature. This week, the first thing I will do once I have woken up in the morning and gotten dressed, is to take a moment to go outside where I can see at least some aspect of the natural world. For the next few minutes I will let whatever concerns I might have for the coming day fade into the distance where I can catch them up later if I still need to. I will focus my awareness on the way the clouds and air move, the way the plant-life grows, the way water flows or settles – everything falling into its shape. As I make myself aware of these elements of nature, I will notice myself standing or sitting there, as part of this environment. Here I am, connected to the world. Doing this regularly, when I am not distressed, will help me make strong associations with the strategy so it is easier to do it when I need it. It’ s also just a pretty nice way to start the day. In preparation for when I need to distract myself from unnecessary distress, once a day, I will…\r

“Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence….You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.” [From The Desiderata, Max Ehrmann, 1927]

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Once I am comfortable doing this task as part of a regular day, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for mindfully distracting myself from distressing emotions and unwanted thoughts.

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Posted in: Engagement, Mindful Distraction ⋅ Tagged: , , , , ,

No. 63: Taking Comfort in the Inevitability of Change

September 22, 2011 8:58 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… "" …I will practice taking a couple of deep breaths and keeping a sense of perspective by reminding myself about the inevitability of change and how the current moment will shift. It might take a minute, an hour, a day or even weeks or months, but things will be different. Nothing ever stays the same. I will tell myself this in the moment and I will think about how I would like it to be different and what could be done to move myself closer to that picture of things. If it is hard to focus on this without counteracting it with negative automatic thoughts, I will try writing it down. I will then turn my attention to something else in my environment to involve my attention in something else. I am practicing allowing myself to let go of each moment and get a different experience. Once I am familiar with taking comfort in the possibility of change and redirecting my attention in everyday situations, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of coping with stressful and distressing moments.
Posted in: Self-Soothing ⋅ Tagged: , , ,

No 39: Tuning into Grey-Scale Thinking

March 30, 2011 10:08 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, in order to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete I will practice choosing to see all the shades of grey in each situation, rather than focusing on the black and white. This week I give up on absolutes. I will catch thoughts that contain words like ‘always’ or ‘never’ or ‘should’ or ‘have to’ and replace them with words like ‘sometimes’, ‘could’ or ‘might’. I will consider alternative ways of viewing things and leave room for the possibility that one of the more positive perspectives could be true. I will allow the good to exist side-by-side with the bad, without letting one cancel the other out. Once I am comfortable thinking about everyday situations in greyscale terms, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of soothing intense emotional responses to unwanted situations.
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No. 38: Giving Up On Getting It Right

March 22, 2011 10:34 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete I will give up on trying to get things right. Instead of being concerned with getting the right answer, saying the right thing, doing it right and looking right I will be as open as possible, I will be willing to not get the right answer, to go through the process, rather than jumping ahead to the future. By remaining concerned with ‘being right’, the mind produces excess tensions in the body. When I make the choice to have an open mind, to wait and see what happens and to let whatever happens be okay, it will have a beneficial effect on my body. This week, it does not matter whether I am right or mistaken – it matters that I allow myself the opportunity to try things and relax into myself. I do not need to be on guard all the time to make sure I behave appropriately or am accepted. I can relinquish my control on getting things right, and still survive, still be accepted and still move forward in life. By removing the pressure to do it right, I am more likely to feel comfortable trying things. Once I am used to giving myself permission to be wrong and make mistakes every day, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for balancing distressing thoughts when I need to soothe distressing moods.
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No. 35: A Longterm Perspective

March 2, 2011 10:42 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellness… Coping Kete I will practice tuning into a long-term perspective to shift my mood. When I notice moments of stress, I will take three deep breaths and imagine how I might think and feel about the current situation in five years from now. By making myself aware of how I will feel and think about a particular stressor in 5 years, I will gain a wider perspective of what is happening in the moment to help reduce any unpleasant feelings and thoughts. I will remind myself: This too shall pass. While something can seem very intense, overwhelming or unbearable in the moment, once time has passed the emotional intensity does too. With the passage of time solutions are often found for problems, skills and strengths are further developed, lessons are learned, new connections are made and broken bridges are mended. This week I will think long-term and I will observe what happens when I wait and see what happens. Once I am used to thinking long-term about small, everyday problems, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete to help balance out more intense emotional responses.
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No. 33: Moving Into It

February 17, 2011 8:00 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, in order to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellness… Coping Kete I will practice coping with the things I don’t want to think about by scheduling short moments in each day when I will deliberately think about them for a few minutes. This week I will focus on living the lesson behind the saying “I cannot leave until I first allow myself to arrive.” Rather than avoiding or constantly moving away from certain thoughts and feelings, I will move into them, so that I can practice letting them leave. For a few minutes I will make myself aware of the different memories, thoughts and feelings I have been holding off. I will observe them pass through my mind and body as they come and go, by describing them to myself in my head. I will practice feeding myself comforting and encouraging self-statements throughout the exercise, ultimately making this an experience of self-compassion and care. I will then turn to my next task. Once I am used to deliberately observing the thoughts and memories that distress me and comforting myself, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of working through what is bothering me in moments of distress.
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No. 29: Having a Bad Day

January 19, 2011 9:46 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my wellness… Coping Kete I will let it be okay to have a bad day. Bad days and negative feelings happen; but they don’t need to take over. This week, when I am having a bad day or moment, instead of withdrawing into myself, I will seek out other people. I won’t force myself to be happy or extroverted around them, I can be however I feel, but that doesn’t mean I need to experience it by myself. I don’t even need to talk about my bad day if I don’t want to. This is about connection and meaningful distraction, giving ourselves what we need, even when we don’t feel like it. Being around other people is sometimes what we need to pull ourselves out into a wider perspective. This week I will practice being around others when I notice shifts in my energy. I will observe how different kinds of contact affects me. Once I am comfortable being around other people even when I have low energy, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for mindfully distracting myself from unwanted thoughts and feelings.
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No. 26: Stop Point

December 23, 2010 3:29 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, in order to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete I will practice taking a break. This means that for one set period of time I will not do work. I will take a break from all self-criticism and worries about the past/present/future. I can pick them back up again in a week or so if I still want or need them. Whatever my situation happens to be right now, I will take time to do things that are good and fun for me, without pressure to perform to any level or achieve any outcome, other than to take a break. I will actively relax. I will socialise. I will spend some quality time to alone. I will plan a couple of things I’d really like to do or see or try. Wherever I am, I will holiday. Once I am used to taking regular breaks, I will add this to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for shifting negative moods when they are hard to deal with. Sometimes, we have been pushing ourselves for too long, and taking some time out helps to recharge the batteries.
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No. 24: Future predicting

December 8, 2010 9:16 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, in order to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete I will practice noticing when I am predicting the future negatively and get used to balancing those thoughts out. This week, when I notice slight shifts in my mood, I will ask myself whether I am concerned with something that is happening right now or whether I am concerned with something I think will happen later. If it is hard to do in the moment, I will do think about it in hindsight at the end of each day. If I find that my thoughts are mainly focused on future events, I will remind myself that ‘no matter how much I think I know, I cannot truly predict what is yet to come’. I will tell myself “I make the choice to have an open mind, to wait and see what happens”. I will open myself to the new and unknown, instead of jumping ahead to the future and acting/reacting as if that future were present now. I will focus on what is actually present now in the current moment rather than anticipating what could be present in the future or playing out old responses to things I do not want to revisit from the past. By remaining in the present and acting with awareness of it, instead of allowing my thoughts to move to the future, the future becomes much more fruitful. I will reduce the negative power of future-predicting thoughts by allowing for the possibility of different outcomes and ensuring the ‘language’ of my thoughts includes words like ‘maybe’, ‘might’ and ‘could’ rather than using any absolute terms like ‘will’, ‘must’ or ‘always’. This week I leave room for the possibility that things will work out in a way that I can handle. Once I am comfortable with noticing when I am future predicting and holding an open mind, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of self-soothing negative thoughts about the future when I am distressed and finding things tough. [Note: Holding future-predicting thoughts with conviction is especially common in anxiety and depression. They distort perception and work to shape what happens later in a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy that contributes to getting us stuck in a certain emotion and type of experience. We often do this when we think we know how others will react to us or predict that our performance or coping ability will be poor.]
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No. 14 – A Letter to The Past

September 29, 2010 6:52 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week in order to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellness Coping Kete I will use letter-writing as a means of private expression. If I find myself thinking over and over a past negative experience, I will write a letter to one of the people in the situation or my past self explaining how it was for me and airing any unfinished business. I will finish the letter by writing what I need now and what I can do for myself now. When I have written down everything I wanted to say but didn’t have the chance to, I will screw the letter up and throw it away as a symbolic gesture of moving on from things I cannot change. I will then turn my attention to one small thing I have been needing or wanting to get done. Whenever my thoughts turn back to the experience, I will remember what was at the heart of my letter and give myself empathy and compassion for what has distressed me. I will then remember that moment of releasing it and bring my thoughts back to the current moment by describing the immediate situation to myself. Often we need to let go more than once. If I find this engagement strategy helpful, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of expressing feelings about the past again later.
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