This week to attain, maintain, or regain your sense of wellbeing...
...practice using mindfulness and visualisation to self-soothe with an exercise in observing your emotions and comforting them with calming colours. This week, schedule a regular time to practice the exercise and as it starts to feel familiar, begin testing out how to use it during moments of stress and distress.
Mindfulness simply means paying attention to the present moment, one thing at a time, on purpose and without making judgements about what is good or bad. We all make judgements all the time, so we won't be able to stop doing it completely. But when we are being mindful, we pay attention to the judgements we notice ourselves making, name them for what they are (e.g. 'I notice myself judging xyz to be something I don't like') and bring our minds back to the present moment, rather than being hooked into the judgements we have made. Paying attention to the present moment means we notice or observe what is outside and inside us and we describe it to ourselves in words. Once we are mindfully aware of what is happening inside and outside us, we are able to decide how we want to participate in the moment and what we need to do that - like maybe a bit of comfort.
This week, spend 5-10 minutes each day, practicing how to use mindfulness and a colour visualisation to comfort the places you feel distress. This is an exercise in four-parts.
1. Body Scan: Sit still, in a comfortable position, breathing in your natural rhythm. Closing your eyes (or staring softly at a fixed point in front of you), sit in silence and observe what is happening in your body. Starting at your feet and moving up to the top of your head, tune your attention into each part of your body and describe to yourself in words what sensations you notice - how hot or cold is your skin? Is there pain or discomfort? As you notice other thoughts entering your mind, observe and describe these to yourself too, and come back to scanning the sensations in your body.
2. Mood Scan: Once you have scanned your body, turn your mind to the emotions you are feeling in this moment - observing and describing to yourself each of the thoughts, images, memories and urges you notice and bringing yourself back to what you feel. What is the strongest emotion? Where do you feel it in your body? How does it sit in your body? What temperature and colour is this feeling or mix of feelings? If you struggle to picture one, just pick one you associate with the feeling. With each question you ask yourself, observe and describe the thoughts and other emotions that arise in response or that pull you away from paying attention to this feeling fully, without judgement and without judging your judgements.
3. Choose a Comfort Colour: Once you have tuned into the strongest emotion in this moment and found a colour that matches it, bring to mind a colour that you find soothing. This could be a colour you find peaceful, relaxing, happy, exciting, energising, calming, loving, gentle, supportive. What comes to mind when you think of this colour? What sensations, images, sounds, tastes and memories belong with this colour?
4. Recolour the Mood: Then turn your mind back to the strongest emotion you identified in the mood scan, find where it sits in your body and visualise the colour that goes with it. Next imagine you have filled a cup with your comfort-colour and drink it down, into the part of your body where your strongest emotion lies. In your mind,imagine re-colouring that strongest emotion with your comfort-colour, seeing it settle more and more, seeing it cool down or warm up as needed, seeing space and tension free up, as you pour more and more of your comfort-colour into that part of your body.
To finish, open your eyes slowly and bring yourself back to the room and the next task in your day. When you notice your mood shift throughout the day, practice observing it, noticing where it sits in your body, giving it a colour, finding a comfort-colour and re-colouring that space in your body.
Once you are familiar with using this mindful visualisation, add 'Re-colour the Mood' to your Personal Coping Kete as a way to self-soothe and create space inside yourself, during moments of stress and distress. Instead of trying to stay away from what you think or feel, and being pushed around by it, you will be able to observe what is happening inside you, where you feel it, and create some comforting sensations inside yourself. With each wave of sadness, anxiety, anger, frustration, fear or any other kind of stress, distress or upset, tune in, observe the feeling and re-colour it with something comforting.
Tag Archives: Mindfulness Practice
No. 162: Re-Colour the Mood
No. 159: Mindful Drawing
This week, to attain, maintain or regain your sense of wellbeing...
...practice being mindful by taking a few moments a day to sit and draw something you see. Drawing can teach us "to notice properly rather than gaze absentmindedly" (The Book of Life), it doesn't have to be about artistic ability at all. The aim can be simply to notice properly the parts of things and how they fit together. This makes it a good way to strengthen our mindfulness muscles. Your drawings could be simple scribbles in pencil or ballpoint pen. If you notice you get too caught up with trying to draw a 'good' or accurate picture, do the exercise without looking at the paper at all - it really matters that little what you actually put down on the paper.
It's never easy to start a new practice, you might need to schedule in some time to do this each day and organise yourself some basic materials to have on hand. You could snatch a moment at lunchtime or you could plan a little trip to somewhere you might enjoy noticing in more detail.
Sitting down to draw, take a moment to settle into stillness and allow your breath to fall into its natural rhythm. Sometimes concentrating on drawing can lead us to hold our breath - this isn't a breathing exercise, but it's still important to breathe. Allow your eyes to wander until they settle on a scene or object to draw. For the next few moments, simply draw what you see, however it comes out. As your mind wanders, just notice your thoughts and bring yourself back to what you are drawing. As you notice your thinking mind judge the 'goodness' of what you are drawing, use your watching mind to observe the thoughts and bring your attention back to the detail you see around you and continue with the task of drawing it.
As you move through the week, experiment with drawing in different locations and drawing different things and observe how focusing on these different things effects your thoughts and feelings. What is beautiful and soothing to you? What is energising and inspiring for you to see? What sights and scenes weigh you down? How does your body respond to this? Always coming back to your watching self and the act of marking down what you see.
Practicing mindful drawing could help you ground yourself in the present moment during times of stress and distress. It can be a useful way to learn mindfulness when it is hard to do breathing or visualisation-based exercises, or if mindfulness is an unfamiliar practice. Really, mindfulness just means paying attention to the present moment, this involves using the part of our mind that is aware of our thoughts (our 'watching mind' or 'observing mind') instead of being totally involved in the part of our mind that is doing the thinking (our 'thinking mind'). Other names for our watching mind are our 'Observing Self' (in ACT) or 'Wise Mind' (in DBT). In DBT our 'thinking mind' is broken down into our 'feeling mind' and our 'rational mind', because we really do have lots of different kinds of thoughts running through our brains at any point in time.
Once you are comfortable doing mindful drawing in ordinary moments, add Mindful Drawing to your Personal Coping Kete as a way of coping with stress and distress. Mindful drawing could take you out of your thoughts for a moment, allow your body a chance to calm down, and give you something neutral or positive to focus on for a while, which could give you a tiny injection of positive vibes when things are feeling chaotic or overwhelming. You could also use the exercise as an excuse to take yourself somewhere you might enjoy. Giving yourself pleasurable experiences is an important part of engaging with a life you feel is worth living.
No. 158: Plant Seeds and Nurture Them
This week, to attain, maintain or regain your sense of wellbeing…
… practice being aware of your valued actions by visualising or symbolically planting seeds for each of your valued intentions. It is New Years Eve and that is good time to set goals for the coming months, but goals tend to be short-lived and easily side-tracked by shifting priorities. On the other hand, our values represent how we want to be in the world, regardless of the state of our goals. Values are always in progress, whereas goals can be achieved, failed or finished with. A goal might be to ‘ Quit Smoking’ . A value might be ‘ Caring for my Physical Health.’ See the shift? A goal is a place on a map, but a value is a direction on the compass we use to guide us. Different values tend to take on differing levels of importance as we move through life. Much of the suffering we go through is the result of being distant from our values, or prioritising one set of values over things we also hold dear to our hearts. So this week, try doing a ‘ Seed Planting Ceremony’ for the New Year, or the day or week ahead.
First, take a moment to sit in stillness and bring your mind to what you want to nurture in your life. How do you want to treat yourself, the planet and others in the coming months? What is most important to you right now? When your mind throws up thoughts of what you don’ t want, name it to yourself and bring your awareness to the values you would like to be guided by in such situations. What do you want to stand for as a person? What brings vitality and meaning to life for you? Write everything down as you go, then read back through and pick out the things that are priorities for you at the moment.
Next, make ‘ paper seeds’ for each of values you want to ‘ plant’ and nurture in your life by writing each one down or drawing them on a separate piece of paper. Give a name to each of the ‘ seeds’ you are planting so you can easily bring it to mind when you need help to find a valued path forward. Choose a small object or picture for each of the important ‘ seeds’ too if you would like. Next reflect on what you are doing, have done, or would do when living fully in line with this value that is so important to you? What small actions will grow it? Write these down too and then place the paper and the object in a special jar or container. Try to create at least one different ‘ seed’ for each of the areas of your life that are important to your health and wellbeing.
As you learn more about what you value in your heart of hearts, you can return and create more paper ‘ seeds’ to grow. Take some time once a day to turn your mind to the ‘ seeds’ you ‘ planted’ . Pick a few out of the jar, reflect on the ways you have moved towards it that day, acknowledge the things that have pulled you away with compassion, and visualise yourself nurturing this in yourself tomorrow. As you move through each day, see if you can practice bringing your attention to these valued directions, by naming them to yourself as a reminder and seeing how they can guide your next steps.
Once you are comfortable with setting your intentions by naming and visualising the values you want to nurture, add ‘ Plant Seeds and Nurture Them’ to your Personal Coping Kete. Then in times of stress and distress, you’ ll be able to returning to your values as helpers and visualise how you want to move forward, given what you have got.When you notice myself feeling lost or confused or distressed or uncertain, pause, find a valued direction, and choose one workable step towards it.
No. 152: Do Something for My Future Self
This week, to attain, maintain or regain your sense of wellbeing… 
… practice choosing the course of action that will make you feel better later by doing something for your future self each day. We so often spend our time caught up in surviving the day-to-day things that lie in front of us, that we forget to spend time setting up our future selves to thrive. This week, practice nurturing my future self. Think about you in a week from now and imagine you find yourself in a good frame of mind; what does that person wish they had experienced or done? What are they proud of? What do they treasure? What brought vitality to their week? Then fast forward past next week, to next month, next year, and decades from now. Make a list as you go of small things you could do in a day to help your future self have these experiences they need to build the kind of life they want. Each day, choose one thing from your list to do and plan in a time to do it. For example, going to bed 30 minutes earlier might make your mornings easier; eating breakfast might make your afternoons easier; chatting with a friend might have given you a laugh; doing a job you’ ve been putting off might make you feel less stressed tomorrow; going for a walk might give you a mood lift and help you sleep better later; setting some goals might help you feel like you have a bit of direction later etc… As you get used to the practice of doing small things for your future self in a planned way, practice pausing as you make decisions in your daily life to ask yourself what course of action would help build a thriving life for your future self. When you are used to making choices for your future self, add ‘ Do Something for My Future Self‘ to your Personal Coping Kete as a way of coping during times of stress and distress. When you find yourself feeling upset, you can use this strategy to value yourself in the presence of that distress and keep moving towards the kind of life you want. How does your future self want to see you managing this?
… practice choosing the course of action that will make you feel better later by doing something for your future self each day. We so often spend our time caught up in surviving the day-to-day things that lie in front of us, that we forget to spend time setting up our future selves to thrive. This week, practice nurturing my future self. Think about you in a week from now and imagine you find yourself in a good frame of mind; what does that person wish they had experienced or done? What are they proud of? What do they treasure? What brought vitality to their week? Then fast forward past next week, to next month, next year, and decades from now. Make a list as you go of small things you could do in a day to help your future self have these experiences they need to build the kind of life they want. Each day, choose one thing from your list to do and plan in a time to do it. For example, going to bed 30 minutes earlier might make your mornings easier; eating breakfast might make your afternoons easier; chatting with a friend might have given you a laugh; doing a job you’ ve been putting off might make you feel less stressed tomorrow; going for a walk might give you a mood lift and help you sleep better later; setting some goals might help you feel like you have a bit of direction later etc… As you get used to the practice of doing small things for your future self in a planned way, practice pausing as you make decisions in your daily life to ask yourself what course of action would help build a thriving life for your future self. When you are used to making choices for your future self, add ‘ Do Something for My Future Self‘ to your Personal Coping Kete as a way of coping during times of stress and distress. When you find yourself feeling upset, you can use this strategy to value yourself in the presence of that distress and keep moving towards the kind of life you want. How does your future self want to see you managing this?
No. 151: Mindful Moment
This week, to attain, maintain or regain your sense of wellbeing...
...practice taking mindful moments throughout the day. Pause for a few moments to be fully present with whatever you are doing - whether it's eating, walking, washing dishes, or any other activity.
Practice being fully present with the experience of what you are doing, noticing any sensations, thoughts, and feelings that arise without judgment and returning your attention to the activity at hand.
Once you are comfortable with this practice, add Mindful Moment to your Personal Coping Kete for times of stress and distress.
No. 150: Make a Memory Jar
This week, to attain, maintain or regain your sense of wellbeing… … practice holding onto good memories by making and using a Memory Jar. To make a Memory Jar, all you need to do is get a jar with a lid that you can fill with reminders of your positive, special or treasured memories throughout the year. Each day, write down at least one positive thing you want to remember later. Write down the small things like amazing views or scenery you have seen or fabulous food you have eaten or moments of laughter with friends as well as the big events and achievements that happen throughout the days and weeks of the year. Some people add objects and pictures to their memory jars too – like ticket stubs from good movies and concerts, photos of friends, shells from beach trips, dried flowers etc etc. Your Memory Jar can become a real lucky dip of treasured moments that you will be able to use as fuel for feeling good in days to come. To start with, you’ ll need to get your Memory Jar ready. Click here to see some Memory Jars made by other people. Some people decorate their memory jars – you could get really creative with this. Next schedule in some time each day for the next week, to write at least one new memory on a slip of paper and add it to the jar. If you have been feeling low, try to choose a time of the day when you usually feel the best. It is harder to notice positives when we are feeling negative, so if you find it tough to think of positive memories from the day, don’ t be hard on yourself for it. It helps to start small with just little things that have brought us a bit of pleasure. You might find it easier to write things down as they happen or to think back further than this one day or week. At the end of the week, look through your Memory Jar and practice remembering each of the good moments. Plan how to continue adding to your jar as you move through the year and then dip into it when you need some help to hold on to the good bits alongside the areas of dissatisfaction you carry or for those times you need some inspiration for how to feel better. It might help to keep it somewhere you will see it often. Reviewing your Memory Jar regularly will help you to get comfortable holding your positive memories in mind without cancelling them out with the bad stuff that has happened. This can help us to prevent the difficult things from taking over our whole view. You might find yourself having pessimistic or cynical thoughts about the activity, especially if you are in a low mood right now. Finding it hard to remember positive things doesn’ t mean that there have been no positive things. It just means you haven’ t noticed any positive things or you didn’ t count them when you did, maybe they seemed inconsequential or insignificant. Sometimes it can help to write down something you think you would find positive on a different day if you were in a better mood. By practicing the art of writing something down every day, you will practice holding onto positive memories in the face of difficulty and hardship, when it is all too easy to forget them. You’ ll also have a really neat record of your year to look back on in days to come. As you gather more and more memories in your jar, and get comfortable noticing, recording and recalling positive memories, add ‘ Use My Memory Jar’ to your Personal Coping Kete for moments of stress and distress. If you are finding things hard, take out your Memory Jar and use it to shift my thoughts to good times and moments of gratitude and find some ideas for things to do in the present to shift your mood. In times of stress and distress, as well as remembering good memories, try to add one new good memory to your Memory Jar a day. Even when everything is terrible, you will be able to find one good thing to add to your Memory Jar. Doing this during tough times might help you to balance out some of your unwanted thoughts and feelings and shift the intensity of your moods a bit.
… practice holding onto good memories by making and using a Memory Jar. To make a Memory Jar, all you need to do is get a jar with a lid that you can fill with reminders of your positive, special or treasured memories throughout the year. Each day, write down at least one positive thing you want to remember later. Write down the small things like amazing views or scenery you have seen or fabulous food you have eaten or moments of laughter with friends as well as the big events and achievements that happen throughout the days and weeks of the year. Some people add objects and pictures to their memory jars too – like ticket stubs from good movies and concerts, photos of friends, shells from beach trips, dried flowers etc etc. Your Memory Jar can become a real lucky dip of treasured moments that you will be able to use as fuel for feeling good in days to come. To start with, you’ ll need to get your Memory Jar ready. Click here to see some Memory Jars made by other people. Some people decorate their memory jars – you could get really creative with this. Next schedule in some time each day for the next week, to write at least one new memory on a slip of paper and add it to the jar. If you have been feeling low, try to choose a time of the day when you usually feel the best. It is harder to notice positives when we are feeling negative, so if you find it tough to think of positive memories from the day, don’ t be hard on yourself for it. It helps to start small with just little things that have brought us a bit of pleasure. You might find it easier to write things down as they happen or to think back further than this one day or week. At the end of the week, look through your Memory Jar and practice remembering each of the good moments. Plan how to continue adding to your jar as you move through the year and then dip into it when you need some help to hold on to the good bits alongside the areas of dissatisfaction you carry or for those times you need some inspiration for how to feel better. It might help to keep it somewhere you will see it often. Reviewing your Memory Jar regularly will help you to get comfortable holding your positive memories in mind without cancelling them out with the bad stuff that has happened. This can help us to prevent the difficult things from taking over our whole view. You might find yourself having pessimistic or cynical thoughts about the activity, especially if you are in a low mood right now. Finding it hard to remember positive things doesn’ t mean that there have been no positive things. It just means you haven’ t noticed any positive things or you didn’ t count them when you did, maybe they seemed inconsequential or insignificant. Sometimes it can help to write down something you think you would find positive on a different day if you were in a better mood. By practicing the art of writing something down every day, you will practice holding onto positive memories in the face of difficulty and hardship, when it is all too easy to forget them. You’ ll also have a really neat record of your year to look back on in days to come. As you gather more and more memories in your jar, and get comfortable noticing, recording and recalling positive memories, add ‘ Use My Memory Jar’ to your Personal Coping Kete for moments of stress and distress. If you are finding things hard, take out your Memory Jar and use it to shift my thoughts to good times and moments of gratitude and find some ideas for things to do in the present to shift your mood. In times of stress and distress, as well as remembering good memories, try to add one new good memory to your Memory Jar a day. Even when everything is terrible, you will be able to find one good thing to add to your Memory Jar. Doing this during tough times might help you to balance out some of your unwanted thoughts and feelings and shift the intensity of your moods a bit._ _ _ _
Happy New Year from Engage Aotearoa
No. 148: Practice Compassion
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… …I will practice being compassionate towards myself. When I notice critical thoughts or judgments about myself or things I have done or not done, I will practice responding in my mind with kind words, that share sensitivity for my suffering and respect for my humanity. I will practice choosing compassionate and accepting words to talk to myself about my mistakes, weaknesses, flaws and limitations. Other people can criticise me if they wish, but I will give myself compassion. As I move through my week, I will keep an eye out for self-talk that is harsh, critical and judgmental. For example, I will watch out for self-talk where I label myself stupid or useless when I make a mistake. When I notice I am labeling myself harshly for my mistakes and limitations, I will give myself compassion by pausing to remind myself it is human to struggle. I will appreciate my strengths by remembering them to myself and recalling that my flaws and limitations are simply part of a whole, not all that I am. By responding to myself with compassion throughout the week, I will practice accepting my whole self, warts and all. I do not need to be perfect, nor would I want to be. When I am used to talking to myself with compassion and acceptance on an ordinary day, I will add ‘ talk to myself with compassion’ to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of coping with stress and distress. When I find myself in distress, I will be mindful of how I am talking to myself and be careful to use compassionate words. In times of stress and distress, I will be better able to give myself messages of kindness, instead of giving myself messages of shame or judgement that make me feel worse.
…I will practice being compassionate towards myself. When I notice critical thoughts or judgments about myself or things I have done or not done, I will practice responding in my mind with kind words, that share sensitivity for my suffering and respect for my humanity. I will practice choosing compassionate and accepting words to talk to myself about my mistakes, weaknesses, flaws and limitations. Other people can criticise me if they wish, but I will give myself compassion. As I move through my week, I will keep an eye out for self-talk that is harsh, critical and judgmental. For example, I will watch out for self-talk where I label myself stupid or useless when I make a mistake. When I notice I am labeling myself harshly for my mistakes and limitations, I will give myself compassion by pausing to remind myself it is human to struggle. I will appreciate my strengths by remembering them to myself and recalling that my flaws and limitations are simply part of a whole, not all that I am. By responding to myself with compassion throughout the week, I will practice accepting my whole self, warts and all. I do not need to be perfect, nor would I want to be. When I am used to talking to myself with compassion and acceptance on an ordinary day, I will add ‘ talk to myself with compassion’ to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of coping with stress and distress. When I find myself in distress, I will be mindful of how I am talking to myself and be careful to use compassionate words. In times of stress and distress, I will be better able to give myself messages of kindness, instead of giving myself messages of shame or judgement that make me feel worse.
No. 145: Look for Movement
This week, to attain, maintain or regain your sense of wellbeing...
...practice pausing and looking for movement in your environment. Notice the movement of leaves in the wind, people walking, cars driving, clouds moving across the sky, and other forms of movement around you. Take a moment to be fully present with the movement you observe, noticing the patterns, rhythms, and beauty in the movement around you. When you get caught up in your thoughts or feelings, simply acknowledge them to yourself and redirect your awareness back to observing movement in your surroundings.
Once you are comfortable with this practice, add Look for Movement to your Personal Coping Kete for times of stress and distress.By looking for movement, you will be able to connect with the dynamic, changing nature of life and acknowledge difficult thoughts and feelings without letting them dominate your awareness.
No. 141: Observing Physical Connections
This week, to attain, maintain or regain your sense of wellbeing...
...practice mindfully observing your physical connection to your surroundings. At regular intervals throughout the day, pause and take a minute to notice each of the places your body connects to the environment and what that feels like.
Notice the feeling of your feet on the ground or your back leaning on your chair, the air on your skin, the sun or wind, the sensation of your clothing on your body, and other physical sensations that anchor you to the here and now. Notice that you are connected to the environment around you. Test out shifting your weight on your feet or in your chair, or stretching your body and notice how that feels. Reach out and touch something - a leaf on a tree, or the fabric on a cushion, for example. Notice that you can move your body when you want to, no matter how you are feeling.
Once you are comfortable with this practice, add Observing Physical Connections to your Personal Coping Kete for times of stress and distress, when you need to ground yourself and get present. This is often really useful for dissociation.
No. 134: Grounding Myself with Sounds
This week to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing...
I will practice getting grounded by slowing down and observing the sounds around me. I will begin by closing my eyes and noticing the sound of my breathing, then I will gradually move my awareness away from my body as I notice the sounds I can hear close to me, then further into the distance. Then I will bring my awareness back towards my body until I become aware of the sound of my breathing again.
Each time I notice my mind wandering back onto concerns of my day, I will bring my awareness back to the sounds around me. As I return from the distance to the sound of my breathing, I will remind myself "I am here, in this place, breathing my breath." Then I will open my eyes and return to my day.
I'll start out by practicing this exercise for one or two minutes every morning or night and then move to practicing pausing during the day between tasks to take a moment to ground myself within my body and in environment around me. In this way I will get used to letting go of my thoughts and concerns and giving myself a moment of peace. This will help prepare me for interrupting unhelpful thoughts and giving myself a moment of peace when emotions are running high.
Once I am familiar with this kind of exercise I will add 'Grounding Myself with Sounds' to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of shifting my mind away from unhelpful thoughts during moments of stress and distress.
Acknowledgement: Mindfulness can be traced back to buddhist philosophy. Thich Naht Hanh is known for creating the Engaged Buddhism movement and popularising mindfulness in the Western world. Jon Kabbat-Zinn is known for popularising mindfulness in the medical community with the Mindfulness-Based Stress-Reduction (MBSR) programme at the University of Massachusetts. Marsha Linehan is known for popularising mindfulness in the mental health community with Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT). The basic practice of mindfulness features in many strategies shared in The Coping Kete. Once you learn the basic skills, you can use mindfulness in any moment you find yourself in, in countless different ways. There is an awful lot behind each of the skills involved. Follow the links above to learn more.
