Engage Aotearoa

Tag Archives: Help-seeking

No. 128: Ask Someone to Listen

This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete…I will practice expressing myself and getting support by telling someone I trust that I’ d like someone to talk to and asking them if they can listen. This is something we pretty much all need to do when the going gets tough, but which can be really hard to do if we are distressed and out of practice. This week, at the end of each day, I will call or visit someone and ask them if they can lend me an ear so I can get some of the day’ s stress off my chest. Then I’ ll tell them a bit about my day and anything stressful that has stuck with me. By checking in with them about their day as well, I’ ll be able to help them leave the conversation feeling listened to as well. This might bring us closer. Sometimes it can help to let people know what we are up to – I might even tell some of my friends that I am practicing asking for help and talking about my problems and that they might hear from me as I go. Once I am comfortable asking someone to listen, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of coping in times of distress. I will be used to talking to people about small stresses and I will be used to reaching out, so it will be easier to do.

No. 106: Lean on Someone

This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete…I will practice leaning on the people around me when things start to feel a little stressful. Leaning on the people around me means that this week, I will share what I am going through with the people around me and accept their offers of help. If people ask me how they can help, I will practice letting them know. So often, we turn down help because we think we ‘ should’ be able to take care of everything on our own. This week, I will practice turning to the people around me for help, even with smaller stressors. As I move through the week, I will note who seems to respond to well to my sharing and who responds less well. This will allow me to figure out the best people to go to for help later. If I notice there aren’ t many people in my life who respond well, I might turn my attention to an engagement strategy for building some connections with some more supportive people. When I am familiar with letting people know I am finding something hard and accepting their help with everyday kinds of things, I will add ‘ Lean on Someone’ to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for getting through times of intense distress. I might keep a list of good people to contact in my Kete too.