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Tag Archives: Gratitude

No. 158: Plant Seeds and Nurture Them

This week, to attain, maintain or regain your sense of wellbeing…
… practice being aware of your valued actions by visualising or symbolically planting seeds for each of your valued intentions. It is New Years Eve and that is good time to set goals for the coming months, but goals tend to be short-lived and easily side-tracked by shifting priorities. On the other hand, our values represent how we want to be in the world, regardless of the state of our goals. Values are always in progress, whereas goals can be achieved, failed or finished with. A goal might be to ‘ Quit Smoking’ . A value might be ‘ Caring for my Physical Health.’ See the shift? A goal is a place on a map, but a value is a direction on the compass we use to guide us. Different values tend to take on differing levels of importance as we move through life. Much of the suffering we go through is the result of being distant from our values, or prioritising one set of values over things we also hold dear to our hearts. So this week, try doing a ‘ Seed Planting Ceremony’ for the New Year, or the day or week ahead.
First, take a moment to sit in stillness and bring your mind to what you want to nurture in your life. How do you want to treat yourself, the planet and others in the coming months? What is most important to you right now? When your mind throws up thoughts of what you don’ t want, name it to yourself and bring your awareness to the values you would like to be guided by in such situations. What do you want to stand for as a person? What brings vitality and meaning to life for you? Write everything down as you go, then read back through and pick out the things that are priorities for you at the moment.
Next, make ‘ paper seeds’ for each of values you want to ‘ plant’ and nurture in your life by writing each one down or drawing them on a separate piece of paper. Give a name to each of the ‘ seeds’ you are planting so you can easily bring it to mind when you need help to find a valued path forward. Choose a small object or picture for each of the important ‘ seeds’ too if you would like. Next reflect on what you are doing, have done, or would do when living fully in line with this value that is so important to you? What small actions will grow it? Write these down too and then place the paper and the object in a special jar or container. Try to create at least one different ‘ seed’ for each of the areas of your life that are important to your health and wellbeing.
As you learn more about what you value in your heart of hearts, you can return and create more paper ‘ seeds’ to grow. Take some time once a day to turn your mind to the ‘ seeds’ you ‘ planted’ . Pick a few out of the jar, reflect on the ways you have moved towards it that day, acknowledge the things that have pulled you away with compassion, and visualise yourself nurturing this in yourself tomorrow. As you move through each day, see if you can practice bringing your attention to these valued directions, by naming them to yourself as a reminder and seeing how they can guide your next steps.
Once you are comfortable with setting your intentions by naming and visualising the values you want to nurture, add ‘ Plant Seeds and Nurture Them’ to your Personal Coping Kete. Then in times of stress and distress, you’ ll be able to returning to your values as helpers and visualise how you want to move forward, given what you have got.When you notice myself feeling lost or confused or distressed or uncertain, pause, find a valued direction, and choose one workable step towards it.

No. 138: Visualising My Intentions

This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping KeteI will practice telling the difference between my expectations and my good intentions and get in the habit of letting my intentions guide me instead of my fears. While my expectations are useful, they can get in my way at times, but my good intentions bring me back to what it is important to me, back to my values. This week, I will take a moment every morning to practice slow, belly breathing while I focus my attention on visualising my positive intentions for the day. Before I get out of bed in the morning, I will lie back and do a few minutes of belly breathing. As I breathe slowly down into my belly and let each breath float back out, I will think about my good intentions for the day by saying to myself “today I would like to ….” and then picturing it happening in my mind. If my self-critic or inner future-predictor interferes and I start thinking about barriers to my good intentions or reasons why it won’ t work out, I will notice the thoughts then come back to my breath and my intentions for the day. After a few minutes, I will open my eyes if I had them closed and move on into my day, carrying my values and positive intentions with me. In this way, I will get used to setting aside my expectations to get a clear sense of what I value and what I want to happen, so I can carry these things throughout my day and come back to them when I find myself in a tough moment. I’ ll also get to start my day off with a bit of calm breathing which might help set me up for a more relaxed day too. Once I am comfortable with spending a few moments breathing and connecting with my values and wishes rather than my fears and expectations, I will add this to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for self-soothing during times of stress and upset.When I notice I am distressed, I will be able to take a moment to breathe, come back to my own values and intentions as a way of soothing my unhelpful thoughts and problem-solving how I will deal with the situation I am facing.

No. 126: Be the Super Hero in My Own Story

This week, to attain, maintain or regain my own sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete… I will practice being the super hero in my own life. So often we can find ourselves being the villain in our own stories, bullying ourselves with negative self-talk, sabotaging our own goals, holding ourselves back from new and exciting things, treating ourselves badly and keeping ourselves in situations that are ultimately harmful. This week, instead of being my own bad-guy, I will be my own good-guy. So this week, as I move through each day, I will practice making my decisions and talking myself through with the intention of being the hero in my own daily life. This means, that I will encourage myself when I need encouraging, I will allow myself to dream big, I will throw myself the life-line of hope and help myself to reach out for it, I will rally my support troops around me when I need a whole crew of super heroes to get through a particular struggle. When I need rescuing from a bad day, I will give myself some kindness. When I feel vulnerable, I will visualise myself reacting from a place of strength. Whenever I find myself at a cross-roads moment, I will ask myself, what would the hero in my story do right now? In this way, throughout my week, I will use the idea of being a super hero for myself to practice real, genuine self-care and building a sense of inner strength. Once I am familiar with imagining I am my own super hero to self-soothe and meet my needs, I will add ‘ Be the Super Hero in My Own Story’ to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy to try during times of stress and distress. If I find myself feeling overwhelmed, I will approach the situation as the hero of my own experience, giving myself just what I need to get through safely.

No. 109: Create Something Simple to Have Faith in

This week, in order to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete… I will practice coping with uncertainty by creating a simple vision for the future that I can have faith in achieving and then reminding myself of it on a regular basis. First of all, I will think of the simple things I would like to see in my future. I will make sure I think of positive and realistic things, that I could have faith in achieving or maintaining if I put my mind to it. I could list things like being close to my family, a safe place to live, regular healthy meals or a daily routine I enjoy. Second, I will visualise or imagine what a day would look and feel like in that future. I will try my best to bring a realistic and detailed picture of it into my mind, from waking up in the morning to going to bed at night. Finally, I will write down all of the things I imagined I did and experienced as part of that day. As I move through my week, I will regularly bring my mind back to that simple vision of my future and remind myself that no matter where I am now, my vision of the future is where I will one day be. If I find this hard, I might set an alarm on my phone to remind me to spend a moment visualising it. Whenever I can, I will mindfully do what I imagined I would do in the course of a day in my vision of the future. In this way, I really can have faith that I will gradually get there and I will give myself small bits of evidence that helps me have hope every day. When I am familiar with creating a simple vision and visualising it throughout the day, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for self-soothing and engagement in times of stress, distress or mental unwellness. When I am finding it hard to have hope, I will focus my attention on creating something I can have hope in. By spending time visualising a positive picture of my future and reminding myself of the small things I can do to achieve it, I can actively balance any worried thoughts I might be having about how things are going to turn out and leave room for the possibility that everything will turn out okay in the end.

No 87: Being My Own Loving Parent

This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete…I will practicing being my own unconditionally loving parent. When I find myself falling into self-critic mode, I will say comforting things to myself. I will encourage myself on. I will have compassion for what I am going through. I will praise my strengths and remember my victories. I will attend to my self-care needs and make sure I am alright. I might imagine my ideal kind of loving parent in advance so that I am prepared with the kinds of things I might say to myself if I get distressed. This week, I take care of myself the way I want to be taken care of by others. Once I am comfortable saying caring and encouraging things to myself in everyday moments, I will add this strategy to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of soothing distress. When I encounter stress or distress I will think about how I would want my ideal loving parent to respond to me and I will respond to myself that way.

No. 74: Chanting Meditation

This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete… I will practice chanting as a way of meditating, doing breathing exercises and relaxing myself. First off I will pick a word to use. The little boy in this video link uses the word “yum”. Yoga meditations often use the word ‘ om’ . I will experiment with the kinds of words I use for my chant – different words might have different feelings for me. “Om” is likely so popular because it doesn’ t have any meaning and is just a sound. I might use other sounds too. I will take a deep breath into my belly. As I let the breath out, I will repeat my word in a chant, giving the final repetition a greater emphasis on the last syllable, for example: “yum, yum, yum, yummy” / “Om, om, om, ommmm” / “Love, love, love, lovvvve”. I will be aware of the sensations of the words moving over my lips and the other sensations in my body. I will let the words come nice and slow, so that my out breath is also nice and slow. My mind will be focused on my breath, the words and the sensations of saying them, rather than on the things I worry about. I will repeat the chant at least three times, once a day to practice. This way I’ ll be well-rehearsed if I want to try the strategy when I am distressed or stressed. Chanting changes the level of CO2 in your blood stream, and like singing, can create a sense of euphoria or lightness. Watch this video for a low-key, fun example of using chants to calm ourselves. The little boy in this video has heaps of energy, he gets pretty silly in this and he uses the chant to bring himself back to centre at about 2 minutes in. Once I am familiar with doing chanting meditation, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for soothing myself and distracting from distress.

No. 58: Coming Back to Centre

This week to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping KeteI will be mindful of the calm, light centre I take within me everywhere I go. No matter what life layers on top of me, that centre is unchangeable. I will be aware that though my moods and thoughts and situation change, I can always return to this light place within. It is there, even when I can’ t see or feel it. Even if I am feeling really low or dark, the light place within me remains. I can touch it whenever I want to. When I notice slight shifts in my mood and frame of mind, I will remind myself that I carry this place within me. In my mind’ s eye I will visualise this calm centre inside me and I will see myself moving towards it, while I practice the standard breathing exercise. In this way, I will practice reminding myself of my own intrinsic, unchangeable worth and capacity to experience something different in a range of different situations. Once I am comfortable noticing slight shifts in my mood and coming back to centre, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of self-soothing in the midst of distressing situations.

No. 50: Holding Up An Imaginary Mirror

This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete I will practice valuing myself. In a quiet moment each morning, I will sit down and hold up an imaginary hand-mirror in front of my face. I will visualise my own face looking back at me. Allowing myself to become aware of how I usually talk to myself when I look in the mirror, I will smile at the picture of myself that I have imagined before me. I will tell this imaginary reflection of myself “I love and value you.” I will carry this sentiment with me throughout my day. Each time I feel stressed, pressed or distressed, I will return to this visualisation in my mind, reminding myself that ‘I love and value myself’ so I can act accordingly. No matter what happens, it will be okay in the end, because I will love and value myself. Whenever I look in an actual mirror, I will say the words directly to myself. Or some other version of the same sentiment: I am enough. Once I am familiar with sending myself messages of self-worth, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of talking myself through moments when I am stressed or distressed.

No. 35: A Longterm Perspective

This week to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellness… Coping Kete I will practice tuning into a long-term perspective to shift my mood. When I notice moments of stress, I will take three deep breaths and imagine how I might think and feel about the current situation in five years from now. By making myself aware of how I will feel and think about a particular stressor in 5 years, I will gain a wider perspective of what is happening in the moment to help reduce any unpleasant feelings and thoughts. I will remind myself: This too shall pass. While something can seem very intense, overwhelming or unbearable in the moment, once time has passed the emotional intensity does too. With the passage of time solutions are often found for problems, skills and strengths are further developed, lessons are learned, new connections are made and broken bridges are mended. This week I will think long-term and I will observe what happens when I wait and see what happens. Once I am used to thinking long-term about small, everyday problems, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete to help balance out more intense emotional responses.

No. 22: Planting An Imaginary Garden

This week, in order to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete I will practice using visualisation to change the moment. Once a day, I will visualise myself planting and then enjoying my own imaginary garden. My imaginary garden will be my idea of the most perfect garden. This is a private place of my own design. I will plant my favourite flowers, shrubs, herbs, fruit trees, vegetables and any other plants that I have enjoyed at some time. I will start at the beginning by imagining the piece of land that the garden is on and laying out where I want each thing to be. The good thing about an imaginary garden is that we can make things flower well or mature whenever we want them to, without having to worry about things like time or seasons! Each time I come back to the visualisation, I can add something else or I can simply take a walk through the garden, watching things grow or just enjoying what is there. I will imagine the sounds in my garden, perhaps there are birds there or I can simply hear the wind through the trees. I will furnish the garden with any kinds of extras that I may please, I might hang a hammock under one of the mature trees, I might have a river running through the bottom of the garden, whatever I find peaceful and beautiful in nature, I can put in my garden. I will create this peaceful ‘space’ in my imagination and I will return to it when I need a bit of calm or some distraction from the intensity of the moment. Throughout the visualisation I will practice diaphragmatic breathing – deep, soft, slow breaths into my belly. This will help to create a conditioned association between imagining the garden and relaxed breathing, so over time it will become very easy to experience a state of calm when I practice the visualisation. Once the garden is established in my imagination, I can pop in really briefly and get the same kind of benefit. I can do this exercise whether I have a garden or don’t have a garden, because in my imaginary garden I am not constrained by any of the rules or barriers that may be present in the real world. Once I am comfortable using this visualisation to relax, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of shifting moments of stress and distress.