Engage Aotearoa

Tag Archives: Giving And Contributing

No. 111: Make Someone a Card

This week, to attain, maintain, or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete…I will practice turning my attention to something positive by taking time in my week to make a card for someone I am grateful to for something and deliver or post it to them. I will schedule a time later in the week to make the card, so I have plenty of time to get organised. For the next little while, I will think over the people and things that I am grateful for until I think of a person I want to acknowledge and make a card for. It could be for something big, something small, something recent, or something from a long time ago. It doesn’ t really matter, but if this kind of thing makes me nervous, I could pick something small, like a recent favour from a friend. Once I have thought of someone, I will start getting ready to get creative. I will want to find some card or paper to make it out of and design my own image for the front – I could draw something or cut pictures out of magazines or print something off a computer – but I won’ t buy the card, this week’ s strategy is also about using my creativity. Finally, I will write a short thank-you message on the inside, letting them know I appreciate what they have added to my life. I might need to spend a little while drafting what I want to say on some scrap paper. No matter what is happening in my day this week, I will find time each day to think about or work on making my card to someone I am thankful for. It is much harder to do these things when we feel low, so I might do it in little bursts, bringing my attention mindfully back to the card and where I am up to with it, whenever I am able. This week, I am practicing the art of emphasising the good stuff. It’ s not a skill that comes naturally to all of us, and modern life isn’ t set up to help us remember to notice and highlight the things we are grateful for. Making a thank-you card means I will practice turning my attention towards positive memories as well as get a chance to practice letting myself be creative. By sending the card, I am learning another way of sending positive vibes out into the lives of others. These are all things I could feel good about. Once I have gotten comfortable being aware of the things I am grateful for and making a card for someone at any old time, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of balancing my attention when life seems to be throwing all the hard stuff my way. When I notice I am finding things distressing on a regular basis, I will spend some time thinking of things I am grateful for, making a card to acknowledge one, and sending it to the person. Each time I notice myself getting pessimistic, I will bring my thoughts back to my card and the meaning behind it to help balance my thoughts and remember that it isn’ t all bad, all the time.

No. 91: Building Support by Offering Support

This week to attain, maintain, or regain my sense of wellbeing...


...I will focus on building or strengthening my support network. It's not uncommon to become isolated during times of stress and distress. It is easy to lose touch with friends and family members. This week I will write down the name(s) of 1 - 5 people that I could connect or reconnect with. There could be a colleague at work or someone interesting at school or an aunt or cousin or sibling or old friend that I would like to be closer to.

I will then practice getting in touch with the people on my list once a week to find out how they are doing and see if I can help with anything at all. By offering support I will find it easier to ask for support later when I need it. This week is about expressing my care for others to strengthen my relationships for the times when things get tough and I need a little care and support myself.

Once I have figured out how to make this a comfortable thing for me to do, I will write it down on a piece of paper and put it in my Personal Coping Kete as a support activity.

No. 77: Practicing Random Acts of Kindness

This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete…I will focus my attention on making other people, a stranger or someone I know, smile. So often a search for better wellbeing can require us to be inwardly focused on ourselves, but this week I will live the knowledge that my wellbeing comes largely from my relationship with those I co-exist with. This week I will practice making other people smile with random acts of kindness. I will practice opening the door for my companions, giving way to fellow road-users, smiling and saying hello to the people I walk past on the street and paying compliments to the check-out operator at the supermarket. I might write a thank-you note when someone does me a favour or pick someone a bunch of flowers or offer to help someone struggling with their bags in the street or call someone’ s attention to a beautiful view. Each time I do this, I will share in a positive moment with another person. I will also be practicing the art of reaching out to others. This will be an important skill to get comfortable using, as I work to build a stronger social support network and sense of belonging. This week I will enhance my connection with those around me. For those of us who struggle with anxiety, this kind of strategy can be particularly powerful in helping us see that we can survive reaching out, but it can take some time to build up to. Start small, like the odd smile at someone on the bus, and when that is easy, move on to something a bit bigger. Once I am comfortable practicing random acts of kindness in the course of my day, I will add this to my Personal Coping Kete as a way to shift my mood when things are tough.