Engage Aotearoa

Tag Archives: Creative Expression

No. 53: Regular Reflection-Points

July 14, 2011 6:17 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete I will spend some time reflecting on where I am and where I want to be. This week will be a period of planning what I want to work on next. As I move through my week, my distress responses and feelings of dissatisfaction will become useful indicators that give me clues on what I would like to be different in my life. I will remind myself that I am a work in progress and the messy areas are simply the bits I haven’t gotten to yet. We’ve now been posting weekly strategies for a year. Today’s post marks the beginning of the next round of strategies. This week, I will keep a notebook on me at all times. Whenever I notice something that I would like to be better at or find easier or respond differently to, I will write it down. At the end of each day I will spend a bit of time reading over my notes for that day. I will spend some time writing down what skills and strengths I will need to develop in order to transform these things for myself. At the end of the week, I will look back over my reflections and select the easiest, simplest one to work on first. In the coming weeks, I will focus on practicing techniques that will help me to develop this skill. I will add ‘A Reflect Point’ to my Personal Coping Kete and return to it from time to time to review where I am at and where I want to go.
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No. 50: Holding Up An Imaginary Mirror

June 23, 2011 4:58 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete I will practice valuing myself. In a quiet moment each morning, I will sit down and hold up an imaginary hand-mirror in front of my face. I will visualise my own face looking back at me. Allowing myself to become aware of how I usually talk to myself when I look in the mirror, I will smile at the picture of myself that I have imagined before me. I will tell this imaginary reflection of myself “I love and value you.” I will carry this sentiment with me throughout my day. Each time I feel stressed, pressed or distressed, I will return to this visualisation in my mind, reminding myself that ‘I love and value myself’ so I can act accordingly. No matter what happens, it will be okay in the end, because I will love and value myself. Whenever I look in an actual mirror, I will say the words directly to myself. Or some other version of the same sentiment: I am enough. Once I am familiar with sending myself messages of self-worth, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of talking myself through moments when I am stressed or distressed.
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No. 47: Creating Mini Celebrations

June 2, 2011 5:47 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… "" I will create space to celebrate my achievements and practice being aware of my strengths, by setting small goals and acknowledging when I reach them. I will make a list of all of the little things I need to do each day during the week. I will put this list somewhere I can see it and plan the items into my schedule. At the end of each day, I will tick or cross off the things that I did and congratulate myself for the achievement. I will talk about some of the achievements with other people. Even the smallest of activities like eating meals, going for a walk or sometimes even getting out of bed, take skills and awareness that deserve acknowledgement, even if that is a simple silent acknowledgement to myself. By building my awareness of the positive things I do each day I will build my sense of being able to handle whatever comes my way. When I feel anxious or stressed, I will be able to recall these times of small mastery. This week I will create this daily opportunity to appreciate the things I do. I will not use the list an excuse to berate myself for any of the things that I did not do. Once I am comfortable with the practice of creating the opportunity for mini-celebrations, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as something to make sure I am doing during times of stress and distress.
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No. 46: Tuning Into Your Self-Supporter

May 26, 2011 12:17 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellness… "" This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellness… I will congratulate or praise myself for each thing that goes even a tiny bit well. We are so often so quick to let our self-critic remind us of everything we’ve fallen down on or that has gone wrong and we can lose sight of what our strengths and contributions really are. This week I will let my self-supporter reign free. I will acknowledge the good things I do and am a part of. For example, if someone smiles at me, I’ll be all “look at me making that person smile!” in my head. In this way, throughout my day I will acknowledge my value and my strengths, and also increase the enjoyment associated with each positive. This week is simple – I am going to notice, name and value my strengths, positive contributions and moments of capability, the big ones and the really small, everyday ones, like making someone smile. Once I am comfortable noticing my strengths, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a self-soothing strategy for times of distress. When I find myself feeling anxious or stressed, I will recall these moments of praise and acknowledgement that I have given myself to balance out my inner critic.
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No. 44: Making New Automatic Thoughts

May 11, 2011 11:15 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete I will begin practicing how to replace unwanted automatic thoughts with balanced alternatives that better serve me in the moment. First, I will spend a couple of days noticing which automatic thoughts seem to pop into my head repeatedly. At the end of each day I will write down the most repetitive automatic thoughts I had that day. If I already know which automatic thoughts are most repetitive, I can skip this first step. Once I know which thoughts I want to change, I will prepare alternative statements that I can use to counter those unwanted automatic thoughts when they pop into my head. Whenever I hear myself thinking one of the unwanted automatic thoughts, I will say the balancing thought to myself, either in my head or out loud if I want to. The more I am able to practice saying the new balancing thought to myself, the more automatic it will become. Over time, I will be able to teach myself a new more balanced way of responding in the moment. In the moment, a balanced way of thinking will soothe my sense of distress, provided I am able to believe the balancing statement I give myself. For example, a really common repetitive automatic thought is “I can’t do this.” This is a thought that can pop into a head in almost any difficult situation and increase how distressing it is. A possible balancing statement is – ‘This could be tricky, I just need to put one foot in front of the other.’ Each time I hear myself think ‘I can’t do this’ I will say my prepared balancing statement to myself instead. It is really important to make the balancing statements ones that I can believe and agree with. Otherwise the exercise seems contrived and unnatural – it is likely to feel weird anyway, because the balancing thoughts are new ones. It is very common for people to make balancing statements that are more about what they think they should think, rather than what they really could believe to be true. Note: As balancing statements are generally new, they do feel unfamiliar and uncomfortable to practice, even if you have selected one that you believe in 100%. It will be important to persevere through this feeling of unfamiliarity before the balancing thought will start to feel comfortable to hold for yourself. Alternatively, feeling uncomfortable saying the statement may be an indication that it is not something you really can believe yet and perhaps the statement needs to be changed a bit. Once I have become comfortable doing this activity of noticing my thoughts and countering them with balanced statements I believe, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as something to try during moments of stress and distress when I want to connect with a different way of thinking about things.
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No 39: Tuning into Grey-Scale Thinking

March 30, 2011 10:08 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, in order to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete I will practice choosing to see all the shades of grey in each situation, rather than focusing on the black and white. This week I give up on absolutes. I will catch thoughts that contain words like ‘always’ or ‘never’ or ‘should’ or ‘have to’ and replace them with words like ‘sometimes’, ‘could’ or ‘might’. I will consider alternative ways of viewing things and leave room for the possibility that one of the more positive perspectives could be true. I will allow the good to exist side-by-side with the bad, without letting one cancel the other out. Once I am comfortable thinking about everyday situations in greyscale terms, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of soothing intense emotional responses to unwanted situations.
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No. 38: Giving Up On Getting It Right

March 22, 2011 10:34 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete I will give up on trying to get things right. Instead of being concerned with getting the right answer, saying the right thing, doing it right and looking right I will be as open as possible, I will be willing to not get the right answer, to go through the process, rather than jumping ahead to the future. By remaining concerned with ‘being right’, the mind produces excess tensions in the body. When I make the choice to have an open mind, to wait and see what happens and to let whatever happens be okay, it will have a beneficial effect on my body. This week, it does not matter whether I am right or mistaken – it matters that I allow myself the opportunity to try things and relax into myself. I do not need to be on guard all the time to make sure I behave appropriately or am accepted. I can relinquish my control on getting things right, and still survive, still be accepted and still move forward in life. By removing the pressure to do it right, I am more likely to feel comfortable trying things. Once I am used to giving myself permission to be wrong and make mistakes every day, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for balancing distressing thoughts when I need to soothe distressing moods.
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No. 37: Fears or facts?

March 16, 2011 8:33 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellness… Coping Kete I will practice distinguishing between thoughts, feelings and responses that are related to fears and those that are related to facts as I move through my daily life. When I notice shifts in mood, I will ask myself what is driving the reaction. It might help to take some time out to jot down what is running through my mind on a piece of paper. If I realise I am responding to something I fear could be true, I will remind myself that this is a natural thing to fear. I will remind myself, there is often a big difference between what is plausible and what is true. I will then return my thoughts to the facts of the current situation – to the observable pieces of information. This way I can practice keeping my interpretations of events in perspective. When I am used to examining the basis of my thoughts and sifting fear from fact in everyday situations, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for times of distress.
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No. 35: A Longterm Perspective

March 2, 2011 10:42 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellness… Coping Kete I will practice tuning into a long-term perspective to shift my mood. When I notice moments of stress, I will take three deep breaths and imagine how I might think and feel about the current situation in five years from now. By making myself aware of how I will feel and think about a particular stressor in 5 years, I will gain a wider perspective of what is happening in the moment to help reduce any unpleasant feelings and thoughts. I will remind myself: This too shall pass. While something can seem very intense, overwhelming or unbearable in the moment, once time has passed the emotional intensity does too. With the passage of time solutions are often found for problems, skills and strengths are further developed, lessons are learned, new connections are made and broken bridges are mended. This week I will think long-term and I will observe what happens when I wait and see what happens. Once I am used to thinking long-term about small, everyday problems, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete to help balance out more intense emotional responses.
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No. 34: Body Scan and Tuning into Your Strength

February 23, 2011 9:14 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, to attain, maintain or regain your sense of wellbeing when you are stressed, pressed or distressed… Coping Kete…practice being mindful of your body with a common exercise called a Body Scan and self-soothing by tuning into all the different ways your body brings you strength and helps you operate in the world, all the way from beating your heart, breathing your breath, walking your legs, and more. Set aside a minute or two to practice each day. Choose a low stress time of the day to practice, when it’ ll be easier for you to try something new. Your thinking mind will start responding to what you notice in your body during the exercise and this can be kind of distressing, but it’ s a normal part of what our minds do. Practice noticing the responses that show up for you, putting it into words to describe it to yourself, and bringing your mind purposefully back to the task at hand. Brief Body Scan Practice: Settle yourself into a comfortable position and close your eyes or let them fall on a spot in front of you. Notice what it feels like to lie or sit there like that. Allow your breath just to breathe itself in its own natural rhythm while you take a few minutes to observe what is happening in your body from your head to your toes. Just check in briefly with each part of your body and describe to yourself in words what sensations you notice – What do you feel in your head… your face… throat… your neck and shoulders… your chest… stomach… your back… buttocks… legs… and your feet? Linger for a moment on each body part and really observe what is there:\r

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  • What is the temperature?

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  • Are there places of tension, pain or discomfort?

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  • Notice where the sensations begin and end, where are intense spots and where are the edges?

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  • Where does your body contact with your surroundings or your clothes?

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  • What urges are present as you notice these sensations?

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  • Notice that there is not just one sensation, there are sensations within sensations

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\r As you do this, you will start to notice other thoughts pulling you away from the moment. Practice observing and describe these to yourself too, in the most neutral terms you can find, and come back to scanning the sensations in your body from head to toe as your breath simply breathes itself. Notice what happens to the sensations in your body as you breathe in and out. Notice how there are these sensations here in your body, and there you are noticing it. You can notice it without being caught in it. Our thoughts, feelings, and physical responses are like weather, and this part of us noticing it, is like the sky. No matter how big the weather gets, the sky remains unchanged above it. Notice how there are these sensations here in your body, and there you are noticing it. You can notice it without being caught in it. Our thoughts, feelings, and physical responses are like weather, and this part of us noticing it, is like the sky. No matter how big the weather gets, the sky remains unchanged above it. It’ s often easier to learn how to do a mindful body scan when you have a voice to guide you and you can find some websites and apps with recorded exercises in the Online Resources Pack here. Strength Self-Talk: Once you have checked in with your whole body, practice talking yourself through everything your body allows you to do and does for you to keep you alive and moving through the world For example: ‘here I am in my body, with this skeleton that keeps my head connected to my neck and my feet connected to the ground, my shoulders are holding me up, my arms are working, my heart is beating, my mind is thinking, I am breathing, my stomach is digesting my food, my eyes allow me to see, I can move my arms/legs/fingers/toes when I want to.’ Finish up by reminding yourself that “no matter how I feel, I can still compel my muscles to move” and then test this out for yourself by giving yourself a little stretch, maybe shrugging your shoulders, making a fist with your hands, and wriggling your toes in your shoes. As you do this, practice taking deep breaths through your nose, into your belly and out through loosely pursed lips and observing and describing the thoughts that distract you while you go. Even when we face challenges, disabilities, and impairments, we still have bodies full of strength and survival skills that we can rely on and which we have relied on to get us through until now. This strategy is all about deliberately bringing our attention to these most basic of things we can rely on in this moment right now. Be careful not to use this to try to ignore or minimise your own real challenges, that’ s not going to be very comforting at all. \r When you are comfortable with the brief body scan and strength self-talk, add it to your Personal Coping Kete as a way soothing anxious or distressing thoughts. No matter what level of disaster or disarray is happening, you will be able to use this strategy to ground yourself in your body and remind yourself of your power to move and survive. This can help us tell ourselves “I can handle this,” and start to believe it.

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