Engage Aotearoa

Tag Archives: Acceptance

No. 54: Paint

July 21, 2011 5:00 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping KeteI will practice painting something on a piece of paper, wood, cloth or canvas to shift the moment. It doesn’ t matter what I paint, I will focus my attention on the sound of the brush on the surface and allow myself to get lost in the brush-strokes. I could simply colour in the surface, paint how I feel or try to copy something that is around me. Painting is great because I can start it and then come back to it later. When things get stressful or distressing, I can return to the artwork and add to it or I can start a new one if I am feeling completely different. This will give me some brief valuable ‘ me’ time in my day where I can distract myself from what’ s going in my day or a moment. This gives my unconscious mind a bit of a rest and sets me up for a moment of safety. I could get a few tubes of acrylic paint for a few dollars each from my local stationary shop. Some emporium style shops have a great range of really cheap paints, brushes, papers and canvases – but really, I can paint on anything. If I keep in mind that I can do a lot with just one colour and I’ ll be able to get started almost straight away. Once I am used to taking a few moments to paint in my everyday life, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of shifting or expressing moments of stress and distress.\r

This week’ s strategy comes from a participant at today’ s RCNet Monthly Forum. We’ ve fleshed it out a bit.

Posted in: Mindful Distraction ⋅ Tagged: , , , , , ,

No. 52: Radical Acceptance

July 7, 2011 6:11 pm ⋅ 
This week to attain, maintain or regain your sense of wellbeing...

...practice radical acceptance. Acceptance is "The action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered." Radical Acceptance is "seeing exactly what is [even the really bad things] and just accepting the fact of its existence."

**This week I consent to receive life on its own terms.**

By practicing Radical Acceptance, you give up on fighting reality. You accept what is and what isn't. It doesn't mean you become passive and give up on changing the things you can change.It's actually a lot easier to take action to address things when we are able to accept that they are there, even if we don't like or want them to be that way. 

Useful self-talk statements you can use to practice this attitude shift include...
"I don't like it but it's just the way it is." 
"I don't want it but it's what I've got right now." 
"I can't change what has happened." 
"This is the way things are at the moment."
"It's okay to feel this way, I'm only human." 
"I'm not going to waste my time fighting with myself about this." 
"I can't change what they want to do - other people make their own choices."
"That didn't go the way I hoped."   

Once you are used to using radical acceptance with the everyday stuff, will add it to your Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for soothing unwanted thoughts and feelings.

*Note: Radical acceptance is a concept popularized by mindfulness and the concept of radical acceptance in the mental health community with Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).*
Posted in: Engagement, Self-Soothing ⋅ Tagged: ,

No. 19 Normal is Just a Setting on the Washing Machine

November 3, 2010 6:00 pm ⋅ 
This week, in order to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellness, in times of stress or distress...



I will give myself compassion by normalising whatever is happening for me right now. I will remind myself that whatever I am experiencing is normal for someone who is sensitive. 

I will practice saying things to myself like "It's normal to feel this way when..." or "It's understandable that I'm having this reaction because..." or "This is a normal response to..."

By normalising my experience, I will be able to give myself the same compassion and understanding that I would give to someone else who was going through the same thing.

Once I am comfortable normalising my experiences, I will add this strategy to my Personal Coping Kete for times of stress and distress.
Posted in: Self-Soothing ⋅ Tagged: , ,

No 17. What Would Goofy Do?

October 20, 2010 12:01 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, in order to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellness… Coping Kete I will practice taking some time out with a notebook and doing a writing exercise to cope with stress. When I think I need a break from the moment, I will sit down with a notebook and choose a cartoon character. I will imagine that this cartoon character is in my situation instead of me. I will write for 5 minutes about how this character would view and react to the situation. It will distract me and maybe even give me a different perspective of things. I will need to keep a notebook and pen or pencil in my bag or pocket for this one. Once I am used to doing writing exercises when I am not particularly upset, I will add ‘What Would A Cartoon Character Do? Writing Exercise’ to my Personal Coping Kete as a way to shift unwanted moods.
Posted in: Engagement, Expression & Support ⋅ Tagged: , , , , , , ,

No. 10 – Permission to be Fully Human

September 1, 2010 5:50 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅
This week, in order to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete I will have realistic expectations of myself and give myself permission to be average. By giving myself permission to be average this week, I free myself from the pressures of trying to be perfect or trying to appear like I’ve got everything together. I will tell myself things like “Today I only need to do what I can do. What I can do is enough.” This week it will be okay to make mistakes and say silly things occasionally, to not know what is happening, to need to ask questions and to feel distressing emotions. If I notice I am worrying about those things, I will remind myself “I only need to do what I can do. What I can do is enough.” Often times it is our negative judgement of our own experiences and the pressure we put on ourselves to achieve our high expectations that creates and/or intensifies our experiences of stress and distress. This week, I give myself permission to be fully human, rather than an idealised version of myself. My mistakes are learning experiences that will strengthen me, not distressing experiences to regret and avoid. Once I have experienced a whole week of being average and nothing terrible happening as I consequence, I will add ‘Give Myself Permission to Be Human’ to my Personal Coping Kete. When I notice that I am feeling stressed, pressed or distressed, I will remind myself that all I need to do is survive the current moment.
Posted in: Engagement, Self-Soothing ⋅ Tagged: , , ,