This week to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing...
I will practice getting grounded by slowing down and observing the sounds around me. I will begin by closing my eyes and noticing the sound of my breathing, then I will gradually move my awareness away from my body as I notice the sounds I can hear close to me, then further into the distance. Then I will bring my awareness back towards my body until I become aware of the sound of my breathing again.
Each time I notice my mind wandering back onto concerns of my day, I will bring my awareness back to the sounds around me. As I return from the distance to the sound of my breathing, I will remind myself "I am here, in this place, breathing my breath." Then I will open my eyes and return to my day.
I'll start out by practicing this exercise for one or two minutes every morning or night and then move to practicing pausing during the day between tasks to take a moment to ground myself within my body and in environment around me. In this way I will get used to letting go of my thoughts and concerns and giving myself a moment of peace. This will help prepare me for interrupting unhelpful thoughts and giving myself a moment of peace when emotions are running high.
Once I am familiar with this kind of exercise I will add 'Grounding Myself with Sounds' to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of shifting my mind away from unhelpful thoughts during moments of stress and distress.
Acknowledgement: Mindfulness can be traced back to buddhist philosophy. Thich Naht Hanh is known for creating the Engaged Buddhism movement and popularising mindfulness in the Western world. Jon Kabbat-Zinn is known for popularising mindfulness in the medical community with the Mindfulness-Based Stress-Reduction (MBSR) programme at the University of Massachusetts. Marsha Linehan is known for popularising mindfulness in the mental health community with Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT). The basic practice of mindfulness features in many strategies shared in The Coping Kete. Once you learn the basic skills, you can use mindfulness in any moment you find yourself in, in countless different ways. There is an awful lot behind each of the skills involved. Follow the links above to learn more.
Category Archives: Self-soothing
No. 134: Grounding Myself with Sounds
No. 132: Affirming Breaths
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… 
…I will spend a moment every morning taking some calm, slow breaths while I repeat a couple of positive self-affirmations in my head. For just two minutes, I will sit still, with my eyes closed, as I breathe deep into my belly and gently repeat my affirmations in my mind. As I notice my mind drifting away from my affirmations into doubtful, critical or negative chains of thought, I will bring myself back to my slow breathing and once more begin repeating my affirmation to myself. After a couple of minutes I will open my eyes and carry on with my day. Before I try this, I will need to prepare some statements that I might find validating, hopeful, strengthening or soothing in some way. A positive self-affirmation is just a statement about something positive that I think is true about myself or my place in the world. It is important that it is something I can believe to be true. What is a useful, comforting affirmation for one person, might not be any help to another person. So this exercise involves doing some exploration of what fits for me. Some people use inspiring quotes they have read somewhere, others use simple self-statements like “I am okay, whatever happens, I can survive it.” Others like to acknowledge their values and intentions. Others like to remember things like “I am connected to the wider universe and the ancestors that came before me.” Really, an affirmation can be anything at all. Over the week, I will pay attention to the kinds of statements that I find useful and figure out what kinds of self-affirming statements work for me. This week, each morning, I will have a chance to get used to hearing myself being kind and encouraging to myself. Once I am comfortable with doing a breathing exercise while I think some self-encouraging statements, I will add the Breathing Affirmations to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of coping during times of stress and distress. When I notice myself feeling upset or troubled in some way, I will take a moment to breathe and feed my mind some soothing, strengthening thoughts.
…I will spend a moment every morning taking some calm, slow breaths while I repeat a couple of positive self-affirmations in my head. For just two minutes, I will sit still, with my eyes closed, as I breathe deep into my belly and gently repeat my affirmations in my mind. As I notice my mind drifting away from my affirmations into doubtful, critical or negative chains of thought, I will bring myself back to my slow breathing and once more begin repeating my affirmation to myself. After a couple of minutes I will open my eyes and carry on with my day. Before I try this, I will need to prepare some statements that I might find validating, hopeful, strengthening or soothing in some way. A positive self-affirmation is just a statement about something positive that I think is true about myself or my place in the world. It is important that it is something I can believe to be true. What is a useful, comforting affirmation for one person, might not be any help to another person. So this exercise involves doing some exploration of what fits for me. Some people use inspiring quotes they have read somewhere, others use simple self-statements like “I am okay, whatever happens, I can survive it.” Others like to acknowledge their values and intentions. Others like to remember things like “I am connected to the wider universe and the ancestors that came before me.” Really, an affirmation can be anything at all. Over the week, I will pay attention to the kinds of statements that I find useful and figure out what kinds of self-affirming statements work for me. This week, each morning, I will have a chance to get used to hearing myself being kind and encouraging to myself. Once I am comfortable with doing a breathing exercise while I think some self-encouraging statements, I will add the Breathing Affirmations to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of coping during times of stress and distress. When I notice myself feeling upset or troubled in some way, I will take a moment to breathe and feed my mind some soothing, strengthening thoughts.No. 131: Mindfulness of My Breath
This week to attain, maintain, or regain my sense of wellbeing...
...I will practice being mindful of my breath as a way of changing my state of mind in the moment.
This week, I will try to pause at least once a day to spend a few minutes simply noticing my breathing, as I observe my thoughts and come back to being aware of my breaths. Observing my thoughts means that as I notice my mind has wandered I describe what I am thinking to myself in my head. For example I might say to myself "Oh I am thinking xyz about work right now..." and then I will turn my mind to noticing my breathing. Observing and describing my thoughts might help me express to myself what is really going on for me.
I won't try to change my breathing at all, I will simply sit still for a few minutes while I breathe and notice myself breathing. As I see thoughts come into my head, I will notice what I am thinking and then I will bring my thoughts back to my breathing. I will notice the sensation of the breaths as they come in and out, I will notice the temperature of the air, the sound of my breathing, the way the breath feels on the way in and the way it feels on the way out. While I notice my breathing and observe my thoughts, I will practice having compassion for myself and not criticising myself for the thoughts I have. Even if I notice myself criticising myself, I will simply bring my thoughts back to my breathing without further judgement. After a few minutes, I will open up my eyes and come back to my day.
It might seem pointless at first, but giving ourselves a chance to be mindful of our breathing has been shown to help a lot of people feel calmer about things, even though it doesn't change the situation. Taking time to be mindful of our breath can help us feed ourselves the air we need to have a clear head and give us the space we need for our thoughts to become clear to us.
Once I am used to spending some time being aware of my breathing while I observe my thoughts, I will add this exercise to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of dealing with stress and distress. When I notice myself becoming tense or upset, I will pause and spend some time focused on my breathing while I observe my thoughts without judgement and come back to my breath. No matter what happens, I am still here breathing. This can be an excellent way to give myself some space when things are tough. Sure, breathing doesn't change anything I am facing, but it gives me some time and room to clear my head and become aware of where I am at in the moment, so I can move forward through my day with awareness and a bit more clarity.
Acknowledgement: Mindfulness can be traced back to buddhist philosophy. Thich Naht Hanh is known for creating the Engaged Buddhism movement and popularising mindfulness in the Western world. Jon Kabbat-Zinn is known for popularising mindfulness in the medical community with the Mindfulness-Based Stress-Reduction (MBSR) programme at the University of Massachusetts. Marsha Linehan is known for popularising mindfulness in the mental health community with Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT). The basic practice of mindfulness features in many strategies shared in The Coping Kete. Once you learn the basic skills, you can use mindfulness in any moment you find yourself in, in countless different ways. There is an awful lot behind each of the skills involved. Follow the links above to learn more.
No. 129: Gratitude Diary
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… …I will practice bringing positives to my own attention by keeping a daily Gratitude Diary. Each evening before bed, I will write down three things I am grateful for that day. If I’ ve been feeling down for a long time, it might be hard to recognise the things I am grateful for, so I will start small. As I move through each day, I will let myself pause to appreciate things as they unfold, to help make it easier to notice them later when it comes time to write my daily entry. This week, no matter what has happened that day, I will find room for three things I am grateful for. It is okay to have good times in the middle of bad times – this week, I will practice doing that. As the week goes by, I could experiment with remembering the things in my Gratitude Diary during the day and see if I notice a lift in my moods. Keeping a Gratitude Diary will make me engage with the things I am grateful to have experienced. So over the week, I will gather a collection of positive memories of my week. If I notice it helps keep my moods more balanced, I could keep doing this for as long as I want. Once I have practiced keeping a Gratitude Diary for a while, I will add ‘ Gratitude Diary’ to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy to try when I am distressed by unwanted thoughts and moods. Sometimes we need to let the things that give us hope and inspiration in. And that can be really difficult to do when we are down, especially if we aren’ t used to doing this kind of thing on purpose. When I am ready, I will practice using my Gratitude Diary to self-soothe during times of stress and upset.
…I will practice bringing positives to my own attention by keeping a daily Gratitude Diary. Each evening before bed, I will write down three things I am grateful for that day. If I’ ve been feeling down for a long time, it might be hard to recognise the things I am grateful for, so I will start small. As I move through each day, I will let myself pause to appreciate things as they unfold, to help make it easier to notice them later when it comes time to write my daily entry. This week, no matter what has happened that day, I will find room for three things I am grateful for. It is okay to have good times in the middle of bad times – this week, I will practice doing that. As the week goes by, I could experiment with remembering the things in my Gratitude Diary during the day and see if I notice a lift in my moods. Keeping a Gratitude Diary will make me engage with the things I am grateful to have experienced. So over the week, I will gather a collection of positive memories of my week. If I notice it helps keep my moods more balanced, I could keep doing this for as long as I want. Once I have practiced keeping a Gratitude Diary for a while, I will add ‘ Gratitude Diary’ to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy to try when I am distressed by unwanted thoughts and moods. Sometimes we need to let the things that give us hope and inspiration in. And that can be really difficult to do when we are down, especially if we aren’ t used to doing this kind of thing on purpose. When I am ready, I will practice using my Gratitude Diary to self-soothe during times of stress and upset.
No. 127: Give the Future the Benefit of the Doubt
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… … I will practice coping by experimenting with being at peace with not knowing what the future will bring. Rather than following any worried thoughts about what might go wrong and getting stuck there, I will give the future the benefit of the doubt by reminding myself that I don’ t know what will happen and letting the mystery of my future unfold as it will. This week, as I move through each day, I will practice catching negative or stressful thoughts about the future and saying to myself ‘ I do not know what the future will bring and I am at peace with that, I trust my future to unfold as I need it to.’ I will then simply move forward, doing my best with what I have. This week I will trust myself to do what I need to do, to get through. Once I am familiar with trusting my future to unfold as I need it to, on an ordinary day in the face of my day-to-day stresses, I will add this strategy to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of coping during times of distress.
… I will practice coping by experimenting with being at peace with not knowing what the future will bring. Rather than following any worried thoughts about what might go wrong and getting stuck there, I will give the future the benefit of the doubt by reminding myself that I don’ t know what will happen and letting the mystery of my future unfold as it will. This week, as I move through each day, I will practice catching negative or stressful thoughts about the future and saying to myself ‘ I do not know what the future will bring and I am at peace with that, I trust my future to unfold as I need it to.’ I will then simply move forward, doing my best with what I have. This week I will trust myself to do what I need to do, to get through. Once I am familiar with trusting my future to unfold as I need it to, on an ordinary day in the face of my day-to-day stresses, I will add this strategy to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of coping during times of distress.
No. 126: Be the Super Hero in My Own Story
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my own sense of wellbeing… … I will practice being the super hero in my own life. So often we can find ourselves being the villain in our own stories, bullying ourselves with negative self-talk, sabotaging our own goals, holding ourselves back from new and exciting things, treating ourselves badly and keeping ourselves in situations that are ultimately harmful. This week, instead of being my own bad-guy, I will be my own good-guy. So this week, as I move through each day, I will practice making my decisions and talking myself through with the intention of being the hero in my own daily life. This means, that I will encourage myself when I need encouraging, I will allow myself to dream big, I will throw myself the life-line of hope and help myself to reach out for it, I will rally my support troops around me when I need a whole crew of super heroes to get through a particular struggle. When I need rescuing from a bad day, I will give myself some kindness. When I feel vulnerable, I will visualise myself reacting from a place of strength. Whenever I find myself at a cross-roads moment, I will ask myself, what would the hero in my story do right now? In this way, throughout my week, I will use the idea of being a super hero for myself to practice real, genuine self-care and building a sense of inner strength. Once I am familiar with imagining I am my own super hero to self-soothe and meet my needs, I will add ‘ Be the Super Hero in My Own Story’ to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy to try during times of stress and distress. If I find myself feeling overwhelmed, I will approach the situation as the hero of my own experience, giving myself just what I need to get through safely.
… I will practice being the super hero in my own life. So often we can find ourselves being the villain in our own stories, bullying ourselves with negative self-talk, sabotaging our own goals, holding ourselves back from new and exciting things, treating ourselves badly and keeping ourselves in situations that are ultimately harmful. This week, instead of being my own bad-guy, I will be my own good-guy. So this week, as I move through each day, I will practice making my decisions and talking myself through with the intention of being the hero in my own daily life. This means, that I will encourage myself when I need encouraging, I will allow myself to dream big, I will throw myself the life-line of hope and help myself to reach out for it, I will rally my support troops around me when I need a whole crew of super heroes to get through a particular struggle. When I need rescuing from a bad day, I will give myself some kindness. When I feel vulnerable, I will visualise myself reacting from a place of strength. Whenever I find myself at a cross-roads moment, I will ask myself, what would the hero in my story do right now? In this way, throughout my week, I will use the idea of being a super hero for myself to practice real, genuine self-care and building a sense of inner strength. Once I am familiar with imagining I am my own super hero to self-soothe and meet my needs, I will add ‘ Be the Super Hero in My Own Story’ to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy to try during times of stress and distress. If I find myself feeling overwhelmed, I will approach the situation as the hero of my own experience, giving myself just what I need to get through safely.
No. 124: Ten Breaths
This week, to attain, maintain or regain your sense of wellbeing...
...practice taking ten mindful breaths when you're feeling stressed or overwhelmed as a way to calm my nervous system and focus my attention. Take slow, deep breaths, really paying attention to the sensations in your body, and count each one from one to ten.
Taking ten deep breaths, and really paying attention to them, can help activate your parasympathetic nervous system - the part of your nervous system that slows things down and puts us in rest and digest mode as opposed to action mode - This helps create a sense of calm and safety and give you a moment of stillness in between feeling and responding.It doesn't change the situation you are facing, but it does mean you can face it feeling a bit more grounded and regulated.
Once I am comfortable with this practice, I will add Count Ten Breaths to my Personal Coping Kete for times of stress and distress.
No. 122: Use the Positivity Ratio
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… …I am going to practice using the Positivity Ratio to help shift my thoughts and feelings. Researchers in the field of Positive Psychology have found that it takes three positive thoughts to shift a negative thought. This week, I am going to practice consciously having positive thoughts, so that when I find my thoughts going dark, I will be able to use my skills to improve the moment. As I go through each day, I will try to pause whenever I remember to and list three positive things I have recently noticed. I will work to list the smallest things I can, as well as noticing bigger things. This will help me get really used to noticing the elements of things that might bring me some joy. This week, I am going to learn how to notice the things that might give me joy. I will let them exist alongside anything that I find unpleasant or distressing. As I list my three positive things, I will focus my awareness on each thing and make myself really mindful of all of the good things about it and what it is that makes it positive to me. I will try to do this at least two or three times every day this week, regardless of how I feel. It might help to schedule in to do it in the morning and at night so I remember to practice – remembering to practice can be really hard. When I am familiar with purposefully thinking of three small positives, I will add ‘ Use the Positivity Ratio’ to my Personal Coping Kete. When I notice myself having pessimistic thoughts or feeling really bad, I will use the positivity ratio to make myself mindfully aware of three good things, however small they may be. I will let those three good things, exist side-by-side with whatever else I am experiencing so that the hard things do not stop me from noticing the good things.
…I am going to practice using the Positivity Ratio to help shift my thoughts and feelings. Researchers in the field of Positive Psychology have found that it takes three positive thoughts to shift a negative thought. This week, I am going to practice consciously having positive thoughts, so that when I find my thoughts going dark, I will be able to use my skills to improve the moment. As I go through each day, I will try to pause whenever I remember to and list three positive things I have recently noticed. I will work to list the smallest things I can, as well as noticing bigger things. This will help me get really used to noticing the elements of things that might bring me some joy. This week, I am going to learn how to notice the things that might give me joy. I will let them exist alongside anything that I find unpleasant or distressing. As I list my three positive things, I will focus my awareness on each thing and make myself really mindful of all of the good things about it and what it is that makes it positive to me. I will try to do this at least two or three times every day this week, regardless of how I feel. It might help to schedule in to do it in the morning and at night so I remember to practice – remembering to practice can be really hard. When I am familiar with purposefully thinking of three small positives, I will add ‘ Use the Positivity Ratio’ to my Personal Coping Kete. When I notice myself having pessimistic thoughts or feeling really bad, I will use the positivity ratio to make myself mindfully aware of three good things, however small they may be. I will let those three good things, exist side-by-side with whatever else I am experiencing so that the hard things do not stop me from noticing the good things.
No. 121: Mindfulness Walks
This week, to attain, maintain or regain your sense of wellbeing...
...practice going on mindfulness walks. Take walks where you focus your attention on the experience of walking - the feeling of your feet touching the ground, the movement of your body, the sights and sounds around you.This could be a two minute to the letter-box and back, or a longer walk outside, it's really up to you.You'll get to move your body a bit, and strengthen your ability to be fully present rather than reacting to things on autopilot. Two birds, one stone!
Remember, mindfulness is simply the deliberate practice of being aware of the present moment one thing at a time, on purpose, without judgement.
Practice being fully present with each step, noticing the sensations in your body and the environment around you.Whenever you become aware of yourself getting caught up in your thoughts, simply congratulate yourself for noticing, name or describe what your mind was doing, and then deliberately return your focus back to the experience of walking.
Mindful walking is a good way to ground yourself in the present moment and learn how to hold your thoughts lightly without getting lost in them. If you find it challenging to do seated mindful meditations and prefer to move your body, then mindful walking is a great way to practice mindfulness.
Once you are comfortable with this practice, add Mindfulness Walks to your Personal Coping Kete for times of stress and distress.
No. 120: Reserve Judgement
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… …I will practice reserving judgement about what the future might bring. Each day, when I find myself moving into a new task or situation, I will take a couple of seconds to say to myself “Lets just see what happens, whatever happens, I’ ll handle it. For now I reserve judgement.” Then I will move on to the next part of my day with an open mind. When I am comfortable saying this to myself in ordinary, everyday situations and moving forward with an open mind, I will add this strategy to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of improving my mood during times of stress and distress. When I find myself stressed or distressed about what I think might happen in the future, I will take a moment to reserve judgement and trust myself to handle whatever comes my way. This might help me balance out my fears and worries, when they seem overwhelming.
…I will practice reserving judgement about what the future might bring. Each day, when I find myself moving into a new task or situation, I will take a couple of seconds to say to myself “Lets just see what happens, whatever happens, I’ ll handle it. For now I reserve judgement.” Then I will move on to the next part of my day with an open mind. When I am comfortable saying this to myself in ordinary, everyday situations and moving forward with an open mind, I will add this strategy to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of improving my mood during times of stress and distress. When I find myself stressed or distressed about what I think might happen in the future, I will take a moment to reserve judgement and trust myself to handle whatever comes my way. This might help me balance out my fears and worries, when they seem overwhelming.
