Category Archives: Self-soothing

No. 15 – The Mini Self-Hug

October 7, 2010 3:22 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅ admin

This week, to attain, maintain or regain a sense of wellbeing … Coping Kete

I will practice using sensation to self-soothe and slow things down. I will place my right palm on the front of my left shoulder, with my arm across the front of my body. I will feel the warmth of my hand soaking into my skin and muscles. I will notice the solidity of my arm cradling my body. I will focus my thoughts on the sensations in my hand and shoulder and my arm across my chest. I might gently stroke my shoulder to give myself comfort or press my palm into my shoulder. I will take a few deep, relaxing breaths and let myself know that everything will be okay in the end. This exercise is kind of like giving yourself a little nuturing mini-hug and it can be done anywhere, relatively inconspicuously. Once I’m used to doing this regularly, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete to try during moments of stress and distress.

Posted in: Self-Soothing ⋅ Tagged: breathing exercises, creative expression, positive thinking, relaxation, self-care, Stress Management, time-out

No. 12 – Power Ballads

September 16, 2010 3:25 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅ admin

This week in order attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellness… Coping Kete

I will spend 5 minutes every day singing along to music. If I can’t find a CD or set of songs to play, I will sing old songs I know off by heart. If I have time on my hands and am feeling anxious or stressed, I will pass some of the time by singing. I can do this alone or with others. Singing has real physical effects which you can use to your advantage. Singing changes the way we are breathing and this alters the level of CO2 in our bloodstreams, which triggers the release of neurotransmitters and creates a sense of elation. Depending on the song you are singing, it can also be a powerful form of self-expression and sense of connection. Singing is a very good way of changing the moment for ourselves. Once I’ve gotten used to spending some time singing, I will add ‘Power Ballads’ to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy to shift my mood when I am feeling distressed.

Posted in: Mindful Distraction, Self-Soothing ⋅ Tagged: breathing exercises, Coping, physical needs, private expression, relaxation, time-out

No. 11 – Float for a Moment

September 8, 2010 6:40 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅ admin

This week, in order to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellness… Coping Kete

I will practice using visualisations to shift my moment. Each day I will take a minute to pay attention to taking deep, slow breaths while I briefly visualise myself floating on my back down a calm river. The sun is shining, but not too hotly. I am mindful of the way the sun feels on my closed eyelids and how the buoyant water feels flowing beneath me. I allow the river to take me where it will, sometimes moving faster and other times meandering slowly; I cannot push the water. I will spend just a minute holding this image, and the sensations it brings, in my mind. If my attention drifts onto other things, I will mentally drop the worries in the river and watch them flow away. I will then return to the situation at hand, with my centred and more accepting state of awareness. I will observe how I feel afterwards. Once I am familiar with doing this visualisation to shift my attention, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of soothing or distracting myself from anxiety, anger or low moods.

Posted in: Mindful Distraction, Self-Soothing ⋅ Tagged: breathing exercises, creative expression, gratitude, physical activity, relaxation, self-care, Stress Management, time-out

No. 10 – Permission to be Fully Human

September 1, 2010 5:50 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅ admin

This week, in order to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete

I will have realistic expectations of myself and give myself permission to be average. By giving myself permission to be average this week, I free myself from the pressures of trying to be perfect or trying to appear like I’ve got everything together. I will tell myself things like “Today I only need to do what I can do. What I can do is enough.” This week it will be okay to make mistakes and say silly things occasionally, to not know what is happening, to need to ask questions and to feel distressing emotions. If I notice I am worrying about those things, I will remind myself “I only need to do what I can do. What I can do is enough.” Often times it is our negative judgement of our own experiences and the pressure we put on ourselves to achieve our high expectations that creates and/or intensifies our experiences of stress and distress. This week, I give myself permission to be fully human, rather than an idealised version of myself. My mistakes are learning experiences that will strengthen me, not distressing experiences to regret and avoid. Once I have experienced a whole week of being average and nothing terrible happening as I consequence, I will add ‘Give Myself Permission to Be Human’ to my Personal Coping Kete. When I notice that I am feeling stressed, pressed or distressed, I will remind myself that all I need to do is survive the current moment.

Posted in: Engagement, Self-Soothing ⋅ Tagged: acceptance, self-care, Self-Talk, Stress Management

No. 9 – A Body of Strengths

August 25, 2010 5:08 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅ admin

This week, in order to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellness …

I will remind myself of my strengths regularly throughout my day. If I find this difficult to do off the top of my head, I will prepare a written list in advance that I can pull from pocket or bag and read. I will add to this list as time goes on and I get better at identifying the positive attributes, qualities and skills that I possess. If I am unsure of my strengths and skills, I will ask people who know me to have a think about it and get back to me with what they think my positive qualities are. Once I am used to thinking about my positive qualities a bit, I will add ‘Remember I am a Body of Strengths’ to my Personal Coping Kete. By thinking about my strengths during moments of stress and distress, I will work to balance my thoughts, emotions and physical responses. Whenever I notice that my self-talk is full of put-downs, self-directed insults or pessimistic expectations I will start listing in my head the strengths and skills that I have shown in the past. It can help to do a few diaphragmatic breaths first, especially if you are really distressed. See Week 6 for instructions on how to learn diaphragmatic breathing. Once you’ve learned it, it’s a great complement to most strategies. www.engagenz.co.nz/wordpress/?tag=breathing-exercises

Posted in: Mindful Distraction, Self-Soothing ⋅ Tagged: breathing exercises, Coping, creative expression, perspective, positive thinking, social connection, Stress Management

No. 8 – Supportive Self-Talk

August 18, 2010 8:53 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅ admin

This week in order to attain, maintain or regain wellness… Coping Kete

I will practice giving myself encouragement when I notice shifts in my mood or energy level, as I would encourage a dearly loved friend, who I truly believed in, “it’ll be okay, you can handle this.” By speaking to myself with respect, support and reassurance, I will practice valuing and nurturing myself. In the moment, I will be providing myself with the possibility that things could turn out as I would like and reminding myself of the probability that whatever happens, I will be able to get through it. Once I am comfortable with encouraging myself through smaller moments of pressure, I will add ‘Supportive Self-Talk’ to my Personal Coping Kete as a self-soothing strategy in times of stress and distress as a reminder to talk myself through the tough stuff too.

Posted in: Self-Soothing ⋅ Tagged: Self-Talk

No. 7 – Letting My Surroundings In

August 12, 2010 12:16 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅ admin

This week to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing…

I will practice using mindful awareness to silently observe and describe my surroundings to myself in neutral and accepting terms. I will start out by describing the elements of the situation or my thoughts that I find distressing. Then I will observe and describe other elements of my immediate environment to yourself. I will try to ensure my body posture and eye gaze allow for me to take in my surroundings – I will sit/stand up straight and open my posture, look around me and widen my focus. We so often turn ourselves into closed systems when we are distressed. I will simply observe and describe, but try not to make judgements about my observations. When I notice that I have made a judgement, I will observe and describe it to myself and then turn my attention back to something around me. When I am comfortable observing my surroundings and bringing my thoughts back to that task, I will add ‘Mindfully Observing my Surroundings’ to my Personal Coping Kete as a distraction strategy for moments of distress.

Posted in: Expression & Support, Mindful Distraction, Self-Soothing ⋅ Tagged: physical activity, private expression, relaxation techniques, self-care, social connection, time-out

No. 6 – Practicing Proper Belly Breathing

August 4, 2010 8:04 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅ admin

This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellness I will …

Spend 1 minute doing diaphragmatic breathing every morning.

Diaphragmatic breathing is a standard relaxation/breathing exercise where you:

Place one hand flat on your stomach and one on your chest.
Breathe in slowly through your nose (or pursed lips). With each in-breath, push your belly out and imagine pulling the air into the bottom of your belly.
As you breathe in watch your hands; the hand on your belly should rise more than the hand on your chest.
Pause briefly.
Breathe out slowly through pursed lips (as if silently whistling).
- Your out-breath should be 2 times longer than your in-breath – though that is something to aim for over time.
Pause briefly.
Breathe in again and continue with the pattern of slow deep breaths in and slow, relaxed breaths out for 3-5 minutes. It might help you to do a count for each breath in and out (e.g. 2 seconds in and 4 seconds out).
You can do this without the hands if you wish, but it can help to ground things and focus on the out breath.

This exercise takes practice before it is useful. If I get hungry for air, I can try yawning or opening my mouth wide to relieve the sensation; it happens because the body is used to another breathing pattern and this is new.

Breathing is a way to control heart-rate and racing thoughts, reducing anxiety and panic and getting some space between feeling and responding.

Once I have become comfortable doing the breathing exercise every day, I will add ‘Standard Belly Breathing Relaxation’ to my Personal Coping Kete as a self-soothing or distraction strategy in times of stress or distress.

Posted in: Mindful Distraction, Self-Soothing ⋅ Tagged: breathing exercises, Coping, physical needs, relaxation, self-care, Stress Management, time-out

No. 4 – Open Posture

July 21, 2010 12:49 pm ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅ admin

This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing … Coping Kete

I will practice being aware of my body and making sure my posture is straight and comfortable, allowing for easy breathing and a stance of strength. Keeping the lungs open and my breathing regular will help to balance out my mood. Once I am familiar with changing my posture and observing its effects on my mood, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete for times of stress and distress.

Posted in: Mindful Distraction, Self-Soothing ⋅ Tagged: Coping

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