This week, to attain, maintain or regain your sense of wellbeing...
...practice being mindful by taking a few moments a day to sit and draw something you see. Drawing can teach us "to notice properly rather than gaze absentmindedly" (The Book of Life), it doesn't have to be about artistic ability at all. The aim can be simply to notice properly the parts of things and how they fit together. This makes it a good way to strengthen our mindfulness muscles. Your drawings could be simple scribbles in pencil or ballpoint pen. If you notice you get too caught up with trying to draw a 'good' or accurate picture, do the exercise without looking at the paper at all - it really matters that little what you actually put down on the paper.
It's never easy to start a new practice, you might need to schedule in some time to do this each day and organise yourself some basic materials to have on hand. You could snatch a moment at lunchtime or you could plan a little trip to somewhere you might enjoy noticing in more detail.
Sitting down to draw, take a moment to settle into stillness and allow your breath to fall into its natural rhythm. Sometimes concentrating on drawing can lead us to hold our breath - this isn't a breathing exercise, but it's still important to breathe. Allow your eyes to wander until they settle on a scene or object to draw. For the next few moments, simply draw what you see, however it comes out. As your mind wanders, just notice your thoughts and bring yourself back to what you are drawing. As you notice your thinking mind judge the 'goodness' of what you are drawing, use your watching mind to observe the thoughts and bring your attention back to the detail you see around you and continue with the task of drawing it.
As you move through the week, experiment with drawing in different locations and drawing different things and observe how focusing on these different things effects your thoughts and feelings. What is beautiful and soothing to you? What is energising and inspiring for you to see? What sights and scenes weigh you down? How does your body respond to this? Always coming back to your watching self and the act of marking down what you see.
Practicing mindful drawing could help you ground yourself in the present moment during times of stress and distress. It can be a useful way to learn mindfulness when it is hard to do breathing or visualisation-based exercises, or if mindfulness is an unfamiliar practice. Really, mindfulness just means paying attention to the present moment, this involves using the part of our mind that is aware of our thoughts (our 'watching mind' or 'observing mind') instead of being totally involved in the part of our mind that is doing the thinking (our 'thinking mind'). Other names for our watching mind are our 'Observing Self' (in ACT) or 'Wise Mind' (in DBT). In DBT our 'thinking mind' is broken down into our 'feeling mind' and our 'rational mind', because we really do have lots of different kinds of thoughts running through our brains at any point in time.
Once you are comfortable doing mindful drawing in ordinary moments, add Mindful Drawing to your Personal Coping Kete as a way of coping with stress and distress. Mindful drawing could take you out of your thoughts for a moment, allow your body a chance to calm down, and give you something neutral or positive to focus on for a while, which could give you a tiny injection of positive vibes when things are feeling chaotic or overwhelming. You could also use the exercise as an excuse to take yourself somewhere you might enjoy. Giving yourself pleasurable experiences is an important part of engaging with a life you feel is worth living.
Category Archives: Mindful Distraction
No. 159: Mindful Drawing
No. 152: Do Something for My Future Self
This week, to attain, maintain or regain your sense of wellbeing… 
… practice choosing the course of action that will make you feel better later by doing something for your future self each day. We so often spend our time caught up in surviving the day-to-day things that lie in front of us, that we forget to spend time setting up our future selves to thrive. This week, practice nurturing my future self. Think about you in a week from now and imagine you find yourself in a good frame of mind; what does that person wish they had experienced or done? What are they proud of? What do they treasure? What brought vitality to their week? Then fast forward past next week, to next month, next year, and decades from now. Make a list as you go of small things you could do in a day to help your future self have these experiences they need to build the kind of life they want. Each day, choose one thing from your list to do and plan in a time to do it. For example, going to bed 30 minutes earlier might make your mornings easier; eating breakfast might make your afternoons easier; chatting with a friend might have given you a laugh; doing a job you’ ve been putting off might make you feel less stressed tomorrow; going for a walk might give you a mood lift and help you sleep better later; setting some goals might help you feel like you have a bit of direction later etc… As you get used to the practice of doing small things for your future self in a planned way, practice pausing as you make decisions in your daily life to ask yourself what course of action would help build a thriving life for your future self. When you are used to making choices for your future self, add ‘ Do Something for My Future Self‘ to your Personal Coping Kete as a way of coping during times of stress and distress. When you find yourself feeling upset, you can use this strategy to value yourself in the presence of that distress and keep moving towards the kind of life you want. How does your future self want to see you managing this?
… practice choosing the course of action that will make you feel better later by doing something for your future self each day. We so often spend our time caught up in surviving the day-to-day things that lie in front of us, that we forget to spend time setting up our future selves to thrive. This week, practice nurturing my future self. Think about you in a week from now and imagine you find yourself in a good frame of mind; what does that person wish they had experienced or done? What are they proud of? What do they treasure? What brought vitality to their week? Then fast forward past next week, to next month, next year, and decades from now. Make a list as you go of small things you could do in a day to help your future self have these experiences they need to build the kind of life they want. Each day, choose one thing from your list to do and plan in a time to do it. For example, going to bed 30 minutes earlier might make your mornings easier; eating breakfast might make your afternoons easier; chatting with a friend might have given you a laugh; doing a job you’ ve been putting off might make you feel less stressed tomorrow; going for a walk might give you a mood lift and help you sleep better later; setting some goals might help you feel like you have a bit of direction later etc… As you get used to the practice of doing small things for your future self in a planned way, practice pausing as you make decisions in your daily life to ask yourself what course of action would help build a thriving life for your future self. When you are used to making choices for your future self, add ‘ Do Something for My Future Self‘ to your Personal Coping Kete as a way of coping during times of stress and distress. When you find yourself feeling upset, you can use this strategy to value yourself in the presence of that distress and keep moving towards the kind of life you want. How does your future self want to see you managing this?
No. 147: One Thing at a Time
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing…
… I will practice doing just one thing at a time. I will pick one daily activity, like taking a shower or brushing my teeth, drinking a coffee or eating breakfast. Each time I find myself doing my chosen activity, I will do just that activity, with an awareness of what I am doing in that moment. For example, instead of drinking my coffee while I read emails – I will just drink my coffee and notice the experience in its fullness. I can anchor myself in each of my five senses as a way to practice being aware of what I am doing: sight, taste, hearing, smell and touch. While I notice the activity at hand, I will practice letting my thoughts come and go, without chasing them. My inner world is part of my current experience in any moment and I will allow it into my attention. By turning my attention to the one thing I am doing, I’ ll practice not being pulled into other thoughts and feelings, even though I know they are there. As other thoughts enter my mind, I will observe them and my responses to them with kindness, then bring my attention back to the one activity in front of me. Doing one thing at a time, frees our minds up to do that one thing more efficiently. Taking time to do one thing at a time also lets us experience the simple pleasures of everyday things more fully. Practicing doing one thing at a time and focusing my attention on the task during everyday activities, will help strengthen my ability to focus my attention on mindful distraction tasks during times of distress.
Once I’ m used to the art of doing one thing at a time, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of coping when the going gets tough. When I am feeling overwhelmed by emotions or unwanted thoughts, I will choose any small activity I can find to do and I will focus my awareness on that for a while. I’ ll observe my thoughts as they float to the surface of my attention, notice my responses to them and then turn my mind back to doing the one activity before me and experiencing it fully. It could be anything from dusting an ornament to making dinner. Whatever I choose, I will do just that one thing and I will pay attention to every part of it.
No. 146: Be Still and Breathe
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing…
… I will practice being mindful of the wider moment by pausing as often as I can remember and simply being still. Throughout the day, wherever I am when I remember, I will stop what I am doing, be still and just breathe. Whatever is going through my head, I will notice and let pass, while I breathe and be still. I will take this time to notice the light and temperature and textures around me and the sensations in my body as I stop what I am doing and settle into the moment. When I notice thoughts I will practice noticing them kindly, without judging them. I will practice letting the thoughts I notice pass by looking at what else there is to notice in this moment. Moving my awareness on will help me make sure I don’ t get hooked into one particular train of thought. If I notice myself making judgements, I will observe the judgement and again move my awareness to what else I notice while I am breathing and being still. In this way, I will practice having little rest spots throughout my day, where I can slow down and notice what is happening inside and around me, without getting hooked into the stressful stuff. Taking moments to slow down and be still might help me be aware of what am dealing with, while I allow myself to be mindfully distracted by my surroundings. After a little while of being still and breathing, I will carry on with what I was doing.When I am comfortable stopping to be still and breathe in everyday moments, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for times of stress and distress. When I notice I am getting wound up, I will be able to stop what I am doing, be still, breathe and look around me to get a bit of soothing space between feeling and responding. _ _ _ _ _ This week’s Coping Kete strategy is inspired by a strategy from a member of the public who attended The Butterfly Diaries launch during Mental Health Awareness Week.
No. 144: Be Aware of My Choices
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… ![""]("http://www.engagenz.co.nz/wp-content/uploads/blankcopingkete3-200x300.jpg" "\"Coping")
… I will practice noticing all the different ways I can control my outcomes by paying attention to the choices I make each day and purposefully choosing the option that moves me towards more of what I want. This week, as I move through each day, I will practice being aware of each of the small choices I make. When I notice that I am making a choice, I will practice pausing to observe what options I am choosing between and what the possible outcomes of each of the options might be. I will then deliberately choose the option that will bring me closer to what I want for my future – whether that is how I want to feel later in the day or what I want to be doing next year. I’ ll start out doing this with the small choices I make, such as what I eat and drink, what I watch on TV, what I work on next, where I sit and everyday things like that. Noticing how my small choices change the way I experience my daily life, might help me to be make more mindful decisions, that effect me in more positive ways. Slowing down and thinking about our choices is especially hard when we are distressed, which is why we so often do and say things we regret when we feel angry or upset. If I practice slowing down and being aware of my choices in everyday moments, it might be easier to slow myself down and think about my choices when I’ m distressed. In this way, I will learn how to hold my own responses and act based on what I want and need, not just on what I feel. This week, as I notice myself making a choice, I will pause, ask myself what the other options are, think about the possible consequences and what consequences I want, then choose the option that brings me closer the outcome I desire. When I am comfortable pausing myself and observing my options before I make everyday kinds of choices, I will add ‘ Be Aware of my Choices’ to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of coping during times of stress and distress. By being aware of the choices I am making and choosing the option that brings me closer to what I want for my future, I will be able to guide myself through the tough moments in a way that has a positive effect on me, rather than getting caught up in my distress and making coping decisions that make things harder in the long-run. The simple act of stopping to think through the options and make myself aware of what I want and need will help me practice giving myself a delay between feeling and acting, a mini time-out to have a little think. Doing this could be a form of mindful distraction, moving my mind away from how I feel in the moment to what I want in the future and what my choices are.
![""]("http://www.engagenz.co.nz/wp-content/uploads/blankcopingkete3.jpg" "\"Coping"){kind=spacer}
… I will practice noticing all the different ways I can control my outcomes by paying attention to the choices I make each day and purposefully choosing the option that moves me towards more of what I want. This week, as I move through each day, I will practice being aware of each of the small choices I make. When I notice that I am making a choice, I will practice pausing to observe what options I am choosing between and what the possible outcomes of each of the options might be. I will then deliberately choose the option that will bring me closer to what I want for my future – whether that is how I want to feel later in the day or what I want to be doing next year. I’ ll start out doing this with the small choices I make, such as what I eat and drink, what I watch on TV, what I work on next, where I sit and everyday things like that. Noticing how my small choices change the way I experience my daily life, might help me to be make more mindful decisions, that effect me in more positive ways. Slowing down and thinking about our choices is especially hard when we are distressed, which is why we so often do and say things we regret when we feel angry or upset. If I practice slowing down and being aware of my choices in everyday moments, it might be easier to slow myself down and think about my choices when I’ m distressed. In this way, I will learn how to hold my own responses and act based on what I want and need, not just on what I feel. This week, as I notice myself making a choice, I will pause, ask myself what the other options are, think about the possible consequences and what consequences I want, then choose the option that brings me closer the outcome I desire. When I am comfortable pausing myself and observing my options before I make everyday kinds of choices, I will add ‘ Be Aware of my Choices’ to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of coping during times of stress and distress. By being aware of the choices I am making and choosing the option that brings me closer to what I want for my future, I will be able to guide myself through the tough moments in a way that has a positive effect on me, rather than getting caught up in my distress and making coping decisions that make things harder in the long-run. The simple act of stopping to think through the options and make myself aware of what I want and need will help me practice giving myself a delay between feeling and acting, a mini time-out to have a little think. Doing this could be a form of mindful distraction, moving my mind away from how I feel in the moment to what I want in the future and what my choices are.
No. 143: Finding Excuses to Get Outside
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing…
…I will find excuses to spend small amounts of time outside and work them into my day to give myself little moments of mindfulness in nature. To start with, I will make a list of all the things I can do outside around my house or around my work or anywhere in between.
For example:
Weed the garden
Check the mail
Water the garden
Hang out washing
Bring in washing
Read the newspaper in the sun
Have lunch at the local park
Eat breakfast on the lawn
Drink my coffee under a tree
Walk to the dairy for milk
etc… etc…. etc…
Then, as I move through my week, I will practice giving myself time outside to do these things. I might schedule them in to my diary to help me remember to do them or I might be able to remember whenever the opportunity presents itself. When I find myself outside I will mindfully observe the environment around me and how it feels to be in it doing what I am doing. I will describe each part of my experience to myself and fully focus on participating in the experience of being outside. If I notice my thoughts distracting me from my moment outdoors, I will observe them for what they are and bring my mind back to the present moment. This will allow me to practice engaging with environments that are soothing and enjoyable as part of my everyday life. It might also help me get all the Vitamin D I need. Vitamin D comes from the sun.
Once I am used to enjoying outside as part of daily life, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a way to self-soothe or distract myself during times of stress and distress. Taking myself outside and mindfully doing something else when I am distressed might give me the space I need to feel more calm before I respond to my distressing feelings, while still allowing them to be there.
No. 140: Observe the Facts of the Moment
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… … once a day, I will practice distracting myself from unhelpful thoughts by mindfully interrupting myself in the middle of an ordinary daily task and spending a few seconds observing and describing the current moment to myself without using any emotional words. While I am observing and describing the current moment to myself I will practice belly breathing to help me relax. Once I have observed and described each element of my current moment to myself, I will go back to my task. I could use an alarm to help me remember to interrupt myself each day. I will pass my mind over the space I am in, the people present, what they are doing, what the air feels and smells like, the weather, the sounds around me, the scene out the window, the position of my body in the room, the sensations within my body – all of the physical facts of the moment. If I notice my mind making judgements about anything I observe, I will watch the judgement pass by me like a train and turn my mind back to describing the moment around me. Everything but these observable facts is my perception. I can choose which perceptions to attach myself to and which perceptions to let pass me by. I will remember this as I move back into my task. Once I am comfortable with interrupting an ordinary experience to mindfully connect with the physical moment, I will add the strategy to my Personal Coping Kete as a way to interrupt distressing thoughts and get some space from my emotions. When I notice I am getting distressed, I will give myself permission to let go of my worry for a little while and turn my attention to my breath and the physical facts of the moment around me. I will keep observing and describing the physical facts of the situation until I have calmed down and am able to think a bit more clearly about how to cope. As distressing thoughts come into my mind I will observe them as they pass by, without chasing after them and turn my mind back to noticing the physical facts of the situation and continue with my breathing until I am feeling calmer.
… once a day, I will practice distracting myself from unhelpful thoughts by mindfully interrupting myself in the middle of an ordinary daily task and spending a few seconds observing and describing the current moment to myself without using any emotional words. While I am observing and describing the current moment to myself I will practice belly breathing to help me relax. Once I have observed and described each element of my current moment to myself, I will go back to my task. I could use an alarm to help me remember to interrupt myself each day. I will pass my mind over the space I am in, the people present, what they are doing, what the air feels and smells like, the weather, the sounds around me, the scene out the window, the position of my body in the room, the sensations within my body – all of the physical facts of the moment. If I notice my mind making judgements about anything I observe, I will watch the judgement pass by me like a train and turn my mind back to describing the moment around me. Everything but these observable facts is my perception. I can choose which perceptions to attach myself to and which perceptions to let pass me by. I will remember this as I move back into my task. Once I am comfortable with interrupting an ordinary experience to mindfully connect with the physical moment, I will add the strategy to my Personal Coping Kete as a way to interrupt distressing thoughts and get some space from my emotions. When I notice I am getting distressed, I will give myself permission to let go of my worry for a little while and turn my attention to my breath and the physical facts of the moment around me. I will keep observing and describing the physical facts of the situation until I have calmed down and am able to think a bit more clearly about how to cope. As distressing thoughts come into my mind I will observe them as they pass by, without chasing after them and turn my mind back to noticing the physical facts of the situation and continue with my breathing until I am feeling calmer.
No. 133: Play Time
This week to attain, maintain, or regain my sense of wellbeing...
...make a commitment to play everyday. It's true that all work and no play makes for a pretty dull time - it also means that we don't get a chance to properly wind down after something stressful. Life can't be all serious, sometimes we need a bit of silly. This week, spend some time everyday playing. You might spend five minutes seeing if you can still do knuckle-bones or an hour with a friend and a board-game or twenty minutes outside with a basketball or half an hour in the park on the swings. You might need to do a bit of prioritising and planning to make sure it actually happens. If you find it hard to think of something to play, make a list of things that you did to entertain yourself as a child and work your way through each of them. It could be tricky to fit a play in everyday, but you can do it if you have lots of different kinds of play, some that you can do in the space of five minutes and fit in at a busy time. Try to have times of play with another person, and other times it can be solitary play. The key is that there is a time of light-heartedness in your day. This week, no matter how you feel each day, make sure you get at least five minutes of play. Try to notice what things make you laugh or lift your mood even just for a moment and what things don't make any difference, so you can repeat the things that work for you.
Once you are comfortable with playing everyday, add 'Play Time' and a list of the things that worked for you to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for times of stress and distress. When you notice yourself having a low mood or starting to get stressed on a regular basis, engage with some play to inject some balance in your life and shift your mood for a little while. Playing won't change the bad things in your life, but it will give you a break from them so they don't dominate, and insert some lighthearted variation into your daily life that might make it easier to cope with and recover from the tough stuff. When things are stressful, we all need a bit of time to recover, and you can use play as a way to recover your energy levels when things are hard.
No. 130: New Descriptions Exercise
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing...
I will try experimenting with new ways of describing things. This might help me be able to express myself when I find I want to talk to someone else. But for this week, I'm just going to do it for myself. Once a day, maybe at lunch or before bed, I'll sit down and do a word-play exercise.
In one column I will write a list of words that are nouns that I have seen, heard or felt today (names of things e.g. sadness, tree, people, day). Beside it, I will make a second column of words that are verbs (action/doing words, e.g. walks, dip, stumble, fall). Then I will mix the two colums together with joining words ('like', 'and', 'of', 'but') to make new descriptions of things. Finally, if I want, I will put them all together into a poem.
For example, using the words above...
Sadness walks
like trees dip
and people stumble
but only
the day
falls over
the edge
~ ~ ~
I could do this with as many or as few words as I want. The point is to spend a bit of time playing around with expression each day.
Once I am a bit used to playing around with words, I will add the 'New Descriptions Exercise' to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of distracting myself from the present and expressing myself in moments of stress and distress. This way I can stop chasing my distressing thoughts and turn my attention to the simple task of listing words and turning them into whatever I can. It might even help me find new ways of looking at things as I go.
No. 129: Gratitude Diary
This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… …I will practice bringing positives to my own attention by keeping a daily Gratitude Diary. Each evening before bed, I will write down three things I am grateful for that day. If I’ ve been feeling down for a long time, it might be hard to recognise the things I am grateful for, so I will start small. As I move through each day, I will let myself pause to appreciate things as they unfold, to help make it easier to notice them later when it comes time to write my daily entry. This week, no matter what has happened that day, I will find room for three things I am grateful for. It is okay to have good times in the middle of bad times – this week, I will practice doing that. As the week goes by, I could experiment with remembering the things in my Gratitude Diary during the day and see if I notice a lift in my moods. Keeping a Gratitude Diary will make me engage with the things I am grateful to have experienced. So over the week, I will gather a collection of positive memories of my week. If I notice it helps keep my moods more balanced, I could keep doing this for as long as I want. Once I have practiced keeping a Gratitude Diary for a while, I will add ‘ Gratitude Diary’ to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy to try when I am distressed by unwanted thoughts and moods. Sometimes we need to let the things that give us hope and inspiration in. And that can be really difficult to do when we are down, especially if we aren’ t used to doing this kind of thing on purpose. When I am ready, I will practice using my Gratitude Diary to self-soothe during times of stress and upset.
…I will practice bringing positives to my own attention by keeping a daily Gratitude Diary. Each evening before bed, I will write down three things I am grateful for that day. If I’ ve been feeling down for a long time, it might be hard to recognise the things I am grateful for, so I will start small. As I move through each day, I will let myself pause to appreciate things as they unfold, to help make it easier to notice them later when it comes time to write my daily entry. This week, no matter what has happened that day, I will find room for three things I am grateful for. It is okay to have good times in the middle of bad times – this week, I will practice doing that. As the week goes by, I could experiment with remembering the things in my Gratitude Diary during the day and see if I notice a lift in my moods. Keeping a Gratitude Diary will make me engage with the things I am grateful to have experienced. So over the week, I will gather a collection of positive memories of my week. If I notice it helps keep my moods more balanced, I could keep doing this for as long as I want. Once I have practiced keeping a Gratitude Diary for a while, I will add ‘ Gratitude Diary’ to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy to try when I am distressed by unwanted thoughts and moods. Sometimes we need to let the things that give us hope and inspiration in. And that can be really difficult to do when we are down, especially if we aren’ t used to doing this kind of thing on purpose. When I am ready, I will practice using my Gratitude Diary to self-soothe during times of stress and upset.
