Category Archives: Engagement

No 28: Have a Beautiful Day

January 12, 2011 7:51 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅ admin

This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellness… Coping Kete

I will have a beautiful day. I will plan an entire day that will be beautiful to me. I will plan a beautiful way to wake up, spend my morning, afternoon and evening and a beautiful way to go to sleep. I might start by thinking about some things I really enjoy to incorporate into the day, like my ideal breakfast or favourite music. I will fill the day with beauty for all five of my senses and my mind as well. It could be nice to share parts of it with people I enjoy too. No matter what I choose to do, I will pay attention to the beauty that is around me and seek out beautiful places to rest my attention. I will feel the air on my face. I will stop to notice flowers. I will schedule a date for my beautiful day and then I will set about organising anything I might need. When my day arrives, I will approach each thing I encounter as though it were the first time I had encountered it, with delight in the amazing details. If I can’t do a day, I will do a moment. When I am comfortable giving myself a beautiful day or a beautiful moment, I will add this to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for shifting stress and distress.

Posted in: Engagement ⋅ Tagged: humor, positive thinking, relaxation techniques, Stress Management

No. 27: Finding a Kernel Worth Carrying

December 30, 2010 10:56 pm ⋅ admin

This week, to attain, maintain or regain your sense of wellbeing...

...practice finding a useful lesson in your daily experiences, particularly things that are distressing, stressful or downright regrettable. This exercise is about reminding yourself of two things: firstly, you can create the meaning of the things in your life, and secondly, mistakes are a necessary part of evolving.

Often we dwell on the aspects of experience that could have been better and increase our own distress. Instead of doing that, you can learn something about the strengths you want to develop, how other people see things and how to cope. You will create meanings that boost you up or strengthen you for the future instead of ones that pull you down. Simply being able to survive some things is a lesson about your own resilience, which will serve you well into the future.

This is about accepting the things that you can and cannot change and making sure that what you carry with you from your experiences is something worth carrying.

Learn to do this by taking some time out to either write in a journal or think about something positive you can take away from the experiences you had each day. You could also talk through the experience and what to take from it with a therapist, trusted friend or whanau member.

This contemplation is a respectful time in which you are your own kind-hearted teacher.

Once you are comfortable thinking about the meaningful, useful lessons you can take from daily situations, add it to your Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for coping with the things that go wrong in your life.

Posted in: Engagement, Self-Soothing ⋅ Tagged: Self-Talk, Writing Exercises

No. 26: Stop Point

December 23, 2010 3:29 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅ admin

This week, in order to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete

I will practice taking a break. This means that for one set period of time I will not do work. I will take a break from all self-criticism and worries about the past/present/future. I can pick them back up again in a week or so if I still want or need them. Whatever my situation happens to be right now, I will take time to do things that are good and fun for me, without pressure to perform to any level or achieve any outcome, other than to take a break. I will actively relax. I will socialise. I will spend some quality time to alone. I will plan a couple of things I’d really like to do or see or try. Wherever I am, I will holiday. Once I am used to taking regular breaks, I will add this to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for shifting negative moods when they are hard to deal with. Sometimes, we have been pushing ourselves for too long, and taking some time out helps to recharge the batteries.

Posted in: Engagement ⋅ Tagged: humor, physical activity, physical needs, relaxation, time-out

No. 18: Eating Mood Foods

October 27, 2010 6:58 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅ admin

This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellness … Coping Kete

I will eat at least one Mood Food every day to give myself the essentials that my body needs to operate effectively and regulate my emotions. By setting my body up to respond well to stress, I will build my resilience to distress – I will have the energy and resources I need to cope. By paying mindful attention to eating foods that are good for me in this way, I will be engaging in the practice of valuing myself. I could also use this as a chance to explore new foods and recipes. Mood Foods contain magnesium, selenium, B-vitamins, folic acid, tyrosine, tryptophan and zinc, among other things. These vitamins and minerals are involved in low energy, concentration, insomnia, irritability, confusion, anxiety and low motivation. There is an excellently detailed list of foods to incorporate in the Nutrients Table at www.mentalhealth.org.uk. In the Engage Booster Group, we circled the foods we liked or might like on the Nutrients Table and then found ways of incorporating them into one meal a day. Everyone who tried it noticed a difference in the way they felt two weeks later, even though nothing in their environment had changed. The group decided to try to continue with this for another month and see what happened. Some Good Mood Foods:

- Brazil nuts – 3 brazil nuts a day meets all of your magnesium and selenium needs.

- LSA: A combination of ground linseed, sunflower seeds and almonds that can be sprinkled over most foods to add magnesium, selenium, tryptophan, zinc and B3 content to whatever you are eating. Or just eat whole almonds and sunflower seeds.

- Bananas – these are a power food, they contain so many essentials and all of the essentials we named above.

- Blackberries, Pineapple, Kiwifruit

- Peas, Spinach, Broccoli

- Salmon, Tuna, Mussels – for omega-3 oils, folic acid, B vitamins and zinc.

- Olive oil

- Brown rice, Wholemeal pasta, Wholemeal bread – wholegrains contain Folic Acid, magnesium and important B vitamins. They also provide you with longer lasting energy and make you feel full longer than processed grains.

- Plain yoghurt, Parmesan Cheese, Cheddar Cheese

- Miso soup – zinc and tyrosine: you can also cook with miso, it’ s a soy-bean extract. Marmite is a good source of tyrosine too.

Once I’ve gotten comfortable eating and using these foods, I will add ‘Eat and Prepare a Mood Food’ to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of shifting my mood and engaging with resilience when I am feeling distressed.

Posted in: Engagement ⋅ Tagged: physical needs, positive thinking

No 17. What Would Goofy Do?

October 20, 2010 12:01 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅ admin

This week, in order to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellness…

I will practice taking some time out with a notebook and doing a writing exercise to cope with stress. When I think I need a break from the moment, I will sit down with a notebook and choose a cartoon character. I will imagine that this cartoon character is in my situation instead of me. I will write for 5 minutes about how this character would view and react to the situation. It will distract me and maybe even give me a different perspective of things. I will need to keep a notebook and pen or pencil in my bag or pocket for this one. Once I am used to doing writing exercises when I am not particularly upset, I will add ‘What Would A Cartoon Character Do? Writing Exercise’ to my Personal Coping Kete as a way to shift unwanted moods.

Posted in: Engagement, Expression & Support ⋅ Tagged: acceptance, distraction, gratitude, Mindfulness, private expression, relaxation techniques, social connection, time-out

No 16 – Regular contact

October 13, 2010 4:22 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅ admin

This week, in order to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellness… Coping Kete

I will reach out to another person to talk about my day and what’ s on my plate every day. I will also give the other person the chance to talk to me about their day and what is on their plate at the same time. This way things will not build up for me and I will get ongoing support and access to other perspectives. If I am upset, I might get comfort and understanding. This may take some planning, especially for those of us who are still building a social support network. On days when I do not know who to ring, visit or chat to at the water cooler, I will call Youthline, Warmline or Lifeline and utilise a pair of expert ears. It helps to make a list of people you can call. And to start off with there’ s\r

Youthline – Ph: 0800 37 66 33 | Free text: 234 | email: talk@youthline.co.nz

Warmline – Ph: 0508 WARMLINE or 0508 927 654

Lifeline – Ph: 0800 LIFE LINE or 0800 543 345

The Phobic Trust: 24-Hour Anxiety Help-Line; 0800 1 4 ANXIETY

A parent; A sibling or cousin; A friend; Another friend; A colleague

Once I am used to reaching out to someone regularly, I will add “Call Someone To Talk About It” to my Personal Coping Kete as something to do during times of stress. \r

Posted in: Engagement, Expression & Support ⋅ Tagged: breathing, distraction, Meditation, relaxation techniques

No. 14 – A Letter to The Past

September 29, 2010 6:52 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅ admin

This week in order to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellness Coping Kete

I will use letter-writing as a means of private expression. If I find myself thinking over and over a past negative experience, I will write a letter to one of the people in the situation or my past self explaining how it was for me and airing any unfinished business. I will finish the letter by writing what I need now and what I can do for myself now. When I have written down everything I wanted to say but didn’t have the chance to, I will screw the letter up and throw it away as a symbolic gesture of moving on from things I cannot change. I will then turn my attention to one small thing I have been needing or wanting to get done. Whenever my thoughts turn back to the experience, I will remember what was at the heart of my letter and give myself empathy and compassion for what has distressed me. I will then remember that moment of releasing it and bring my thoughts back to the current moment by describing the immediate situation to myself. Often we need to let go more than once. If I find this engagement strategy helpful, I will add it to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of expressing feelings about the past again later.

Posted in: Engagement, Expression & Support ⋅ Tagged: Mindfulness, physical activity, private expression, Stress Management

No. 10 – Permission to be Fully Human

September 1, 2010 5:50 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅ admin

This week, in order to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… Coping Kete

I will have realistic expectations of myself and give myself permission to be average. By giving myself permission to be average this week, I free myself from the pressures of trying to be perfect or trying to appear like I’ve got everything together. I will tell myself things like “Today I only need to do what I can do. What I can do is enough.” This week it will be okay to make mistakes and say silly things occasionally, to not know what is happening, to need to ask questions and to feel distressing emotions. If I notice I am worrying about those things, I will remind myself “I only need to do what I can do. What I can do is enough.” Often times it is our negative judgement of our own experiences and the pressure we put on ourselves to achieve our high expectations that creates and/or intensifies our experiences of stress and distress. This week, I give myself permission to be fully human, rather than an idealised version of myself. My mistakes are learning experiences that will strengthen me, not distressing experiences to regret and avoid. Once I have experienced a whole week of being average and nothing terrible happening as I consequence, I will add ‘Give Myself Permission to Be Human’ to my Personal Coping Kete. When I notice that I am feeling stressed, pressed or distressed, I will remind myself that all I need to do is survive the current moment.

Posted in: Engagement, Self-Soothing ⋅ Tagged: acceptance, self-care, Self-Talk, Stress Management

No. 5 – Regular Self-Checks

July 28, 2010 2:54 am ⋅ Leave a Comment ⋅ admin

This week, to attain, maintain or retain my sense of wellness …

I will practice being mindful of what I am feeling and what I need. Once every hour or two, I will check in by mentally asking myself ‘what do I feel right now?’ and then ‘what do I need to do for myself right now?’

I will give myself those things that I am capable of giving (or getting). Do I need food? Sleep? A breath or two? Reassurance? A kind thought? A glass of water? A chat? A distraction? Assistance? By creating small moments in my day, I will become practiced in the art of responding to my needs as well as privately connecting with and expressing my feelings.

Once I am comfortable with creating moments in my days, I will add ‘Do a Self-Check’ to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for moments of stress and distress.

Posted in: Engagement, Expression & Support ⋅ Tagged: Coping, distraction, physical activity, physical needs, private expression, self-care

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