The Coping Kete

Tag Archives: Goal-setting

No 28: Have a Beautiful Day

This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellness…

I will have a beautiful day. I will plan an entire day that will be beautiful to me. I will plan a beautiful way to wake up, spend my morning, afternoon and evening and a beautiful way to go to sleep.  I might start by thinking about some things I really enjoy to incorporate into the day, like my ideal breakfast or favourite music. I will fill the day with beauty for all five of my senses and my mind as well. It could be nice to share parts of it with people I enjoy too. No matter what I choose to do, I will pay attention to the beauty that is around me and seek out beautiful places to rest my attention. I will feel the air on my face. I will stop to notice flowers.

I will schedule a date for my beautiful day and then I will set about organising anything I might need.

When my day arrives, I will approach each thing I encounter as though it were the first time I had encountered it, with delight in the amazing details.

If I can’t do a day, I will do a moment.

When I am comfortable giving myself a beautiful day or a beautiful moment, I will add this to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for shifting stress and distress.


No. 27: Finding a Kernel Worth Carrying

This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing …

I will practice finding a positive lesson in my daily experiences, particularly things that are distressing, stressful or downright regrettable. This week, I will remind myself of two things: firstly, I can create the meaning of the things in my life, and secondly, mistakes are a necessary part of evolving.

Often we dwell on the aspects of experience that could have been better and increase our own distress. Instead of doing that, I will learn something about the strengths I want to develop,  how other people see things and how to cope. I will create meanings that boost me up not pull me down. Simply being able to survive some things is a lesson about my own resilience, which will serve me well into the future.

I will change the things I can change and accept the things that I can’t change about my experiences, but what I carry with me from them will be something worth carrying.

I will learn to do this by taking some mental time out to either write in a journal or think about something positive I can take away from the experience.  I could also talk through the experience and what to take from it with a therapist, trusted friend or whanau member.

This contemplation is a respectful time in which I am my own kind-hearted teacher.

Once I am comfortable thinking about the meaningful, positive lessons I can take from daily situations, I will add it to me Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for reducing negative reactions to the things that go wrong in my life.

No. 26: Stop Point

This week, in order to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing…

I will practice taking a break. This means that for one set period of time I will not do work. I will take a break from all self-criticism and worries about the past/present/future. I can pick them back up again in a week or so if I still want or need them.  Whatever my situation happens to be right now, I will take time to do things that are good and fun for me, without pressure to perform to any level or achieve any outcome, other than to take a break. I will actively relax. I will socialise. I will spend some quality time to alone.

I will plan a couple of things I’d really like to do or see or try. Wherever I am, I will holiday.

Once I am used to taking regular breaks, I will add this to my Personal Coping Kete as a strategy for shifting negative moods when they are hard to deal with. Sometimes, we have been pushing ourselves for too long, and taking some time out helps to recharge the batteries.

No. 25: Bite Sized Chunks

This week, in order to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing…

I will break the things I need or want to achieve into a series of easily achievable steps.  I will start out by writing a list of things I need or want to get done. I will pick the more important or pressing items on the list and spend some time breaking each of those down into their parts. For example, ‘I need to tidy the house’ would become ‘vacuum the lounge’, ‘clear the surfaces’, ‘fold the washing’ and ‘wash the dishes’.  I’ll then plan my week so that I do one or two of the small bite-sized chunks each day.

By the end of the week, I’ll be that much closer to my desired end-point.  But the main point is that when I start to get stressed out about things, I can remind myself that ‘I have got it under control, life is a work in progress, and I’m on my way‘.  I will be able to experience a sense of accomplishment more often, as I tick off each of the small steps I have achieved, instead of having to wait until I reach the final goal. I will be able to trust that I’ll get there in the end.

Once I am used to breaking things down into manageable chunks and reminding myself I have done so, I will add the strategy to my Personal Coping Kete as a way of coping when things seem too hard to tackle. When things start to feel overwhelming or stressful, I will remind myself that all I need to do is the next step, and then the next step, and I’ll make it through in the end.